Why do grown children ignore their parents?

I thought about elephants (as a possible exception) when I typed my post. That's a good question about the males - is it sort of a hit and run situation? I'm not sure the younger generation are caring for the elder moms and aunts - it's more that all generations of females together are taking care of the babies. I'm not sure anyone stays behind with elders if they can't keep up with the herd, and the herds move constantly in search of water and greenery. I know they mourn their dead, but sticking around to care for elderly or disabled - I'm not sure about that but I doubt it.

But they live in herds, don't they? What happens to the male elephants?

I believe female elephants are one species that care for the elder moms and aunts.

It all depends on the parents Some parents were not all that great to their children, forcing their kids to establish boundaries to guard their hearts and feelings, and other parents (like mine), were incredible parents, who gave us unconditional love and respect, and it was a pleasure to serve them and spend time with them, as we became adults, they became our peers, with us all continuing to want to see that all of their needs were met, because we Loved them so very much, they were deserving of our devotion. One must look into your own heart to determine what kind of parent you are, and are you deserving of their Love and respect.

Raising children is hard. Each generation needs to be able to focus on this difficult task, or the species would die out! I think that is part of the evolutionary process. Each generation is responsible for the next. Humans have a long period of dependence!

That seldom means (in humans) that there is no contact or warm feelings or continued caring both ways. Certainly not all children consider their parents a nuisance. During their own child-rearing years (a couple of decades or more if they have several children) they may consider attention to a parent more than they have energy for.

Look at the many, many members here who are caring for an elderly parent with love, with patience (more or less), and with sacrifice. They may be frustrated but they aren't ignoring their parent.

And there are also plenty of individual cases where the relationship is toxic.

Parents didn't use to live until their 90's and 100's.

A variety of reasons. Probably the most common one is that you did a good job raising independent hard working children that have responsibilities.

It depends on whose eyes are regarding the situation. To an outsider, it may appear as you describe. But to the grown child who actually knows the situation, going low contact or no contact may be a necessary action to protect oneself from a toxic on-going relationship.

My therapist recommended (or rather strongly advised) to not see my mother.
Ten years later, after not speaking to her (and she hardly noticed), she came to me for a place to stay.

Often the parents are a nuisance.

My hubs finally had "words " with his Dad... if you keep one kid in the dark don't expect him to provide all the light! Nuff said!

Sometimes you reap what you sew. My parents once hopped in the car at night and drove an hour to support my sis when her firstborn had the croup and she was worried and stressed. On the other hand her inlaws often visited another relative who lives on the same street and never came over to see their grandkids.

It's the natural order of things, I think. Children grow up, start their own lives, create their own families, focus their energy on the next generation, and the next. Is there any species in which the grown children stay behind to devote themselves to the generation before them? I don't know of any.