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I have trouble remembering a lot of things from my past. Like everything in my mind is a deep black pool. Everything gets lost in there until something triggers them to float back to the surface. My psychologist mentioned dementia. I don't know why it is happening to me. Please someone, give me advice. I'm lost, confused, and I wish I could just drown in that deep black pool with everything else.

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Rose, let us know how you are!
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Rose,

I had major depression many years ago. And when I saw the movie, "Ordinary People" and the main character describes depression as a big deep hole that keeps getting deeper and deeper, until you *are* the hole" I thought that was the best description in the world. In the common types of dementia, you don't lose your moderate to distant past memories first. Captain is right about the brain fog too. The other thing besides depression to think about is any medications that were started in the past few months. And the cargeiving journey - it can certainly seem that your entire past and self is swallowed up in the awful realities of slowly losing a loved one, that there was never a better time or any time at all besides the ever-present and demanding here and now.
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Hey Rose, I agree with JesseBelle primarily because I don't remember much of my past either. I can tell you all about movie stars and their multiple marriages and the plots of movies and a ton of worthless trivia, etc. But if you ask me about my own high school or junior high days, I can't remember most of it. I'm not worried about dementia with my memory. I agree with the abuse/shame notion from childhood. I have some of that going on and I feel pretty sure that's why my personal memory is so bad.

My mom is going on 94 and is at that point where she's remembering her early life and talks about it a lot. I laugh and tell my friends I wonder what will come back to me (if anything) when I'm older, because I sure don't remember it now!
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rosejackson, my first thought was that maybe you had some abuse or shame in your past history. Often when memories are painful, we close the door on whole phases of our lives. It is maybe a coping mechanism, but not a happy state of affairs. Stress and depression would add to it.

Dementia, as other says, usually involves short term memory. Stress, perhaps through the action of the hormone cortisol, can also interfere with short term memory. I know I can't remember anything when I feel stressed. Dementia is a physical problem that causes cognitive and, therefore, behavioral problems. What you describe doesn't sound like dementia to me.

If you think there is something physically wrong, talk to your primary care physician (MD). Psychologists are not licensed to handle the physical side of things.
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Rose, I see you are also caring for your Mother who has alz/dementia. How old are you? When did your Mom first show signs of her disease (that you know of)?

Have you always had problems remembering the past? Do you remember the recent past? Long past? Can you give us examples?

With that said, don't necessarily believe your psychologist's opinion. Go see your primary care doctor. Also, your fog may be related to nutrition, reaction to any medication you may be taking, metabolic/endocrine related, UTI, emotional duress and other.

Bless you.
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@ kathy.
only one potential problem with the R @ R concept. depression usually trashes your sleeping pattern so badly that you just lie and watch the sun come up anyway. i think one on one therapy is more helpful. not giving the phsycs any credit, theyre just paid to listen and pretend to give a damn. a captive audience essentially..
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Could be stress, longtime stress and burnout. Like the captain said, sounds more like depression than dementia. Two days of solid sleep, if you can arrange it, just go to bed get up to eat and go to the bathroom back to sleep might do wonders
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depression is often accompanied by a brain fog so thick you have to swim thru it. im not too keen on booklearned phsyces. the pricks evaluate you for 45 minutes then make some pretty heavy judgement calls. my va phsyc saw me for the first time then wrote in my records that i had poor insight and poor judgement. in the same amount of time i determined that he was spineless, bald, and had gangrenous looking moles competing for real estate all over his head. id see your primary doc. i think they treat the whole person better than a phsyc can.
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Dear Rose, This must be very frustrating for you also dealing with your Mom in dementia. Dementia usually affects the short-term memory first. The fact that you say you have trouble with long-term memory tells me it's something else (not sure if psych or phys, as I am not a doctor). I think it may have a lot to do with stress, but I would first go to my primary docotor for a full physical work-up with diagnostics, and you may also get a referrel for a neurologist. You need to rule out the physical causes first. If it turns out nothing is physically wrong, then perhaps you should make a concerted effort to arrange for some respite care for your Mom for a couple of weeks (tell your family it's "Doctor's orders"), and go off and relax and enjoy yourself somewhere. In the meantime, I hope you find small pockets of time to spend with friends - maybe a movie, or even Dunkin Donuts! Please keep us posted on the developments.
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Hi rosejackson,
Is this something that has come on suddenly? My suggestion to you is to see your primary doctor. Try not to panic. It could be a number of things-stress, lack of sleep,.... Just go to your doctor. And if thwt doctor is vague or not helpful go to another!! And talk to a friend and/or family member. Maybe have someone go with you to the appointment. You need a support system to help you through this. Please let us know how you are doing. Blessings to you!! And hugs!!!!!!!
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