Why can't she just have peace already?

Thank you all...as always for your support. It's just so emotionally draining to see your intelligent, feisty, independent mom be reduced to a 100 lb of skin and bones. Not being able to communicate with her has been the hardest as she was always my sounding board on life. I try and be upbeat for her sake but honestly yesterday when she saw the "bugs" and "random child" I silently prayed an infection would start up and ultimately take her away from her pain. It's so taxing to witness.
I know you all understand and I thank all of you for your kind words and sympathy.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It is heartbreaking. I hated every single minute of watching my mom and dad suffer.

These situations never get any easier to endure.

You will grieve for your mom when she dies but you will also feel relief. In time, you’ll remember all of the good times that you had together.

Sending you lots of love, support and hugs.

I am assuming your Mom is currently on Hospice care? If so, you are doing what you can to help her in this last time until she can come to peace. You are not alone in wondering just how and just why the old heart keeps pumping when long ago rest and peace is all that is longed for.
I loved my parents dearly; they were marvelous parents, wonderful people. But at the end, each passing in early to mid 90s, I was full of relief that I did not have to fear for them to stand witness to any suffering, full of relief that they did not have to be afraid any more of what was coming, did not have to suffer more pain. For my Dad in particular, he was so over it, so longing for death, or as he called it, his last long nap. He did so love naps and sleep time.

I can only tell you I sympathize completely and my heart absolutely goes out to you. And I so often remember in my brother's last weeks, doing the sort of prayer an atheist does, asking any power that be to come for him, asking his long departed love of his life to come get him, longing for him to go from me when for our entire lives we lived just about mentally attached at the hip.

I know it is of no help, of no use to you, but you are not alone in your feelings.

I know the feeling and sympathize with you.

My mother became no one I knew, and after a while, I struggled to make myself care about this strange little old lady who had my mother's face. The worst was knowing that she'd have been horrified at what she became.

However, she didn't know, and by the end she thought she was 16 and back in high school -- her happiest times. She was unaware of the ghastly sores breaking out on her body, the pressure sore on her heel that wouldn't heal, or even the food she was no longer eating (and she'd never missed a meal in her life).

if it's any consolation, you're probably suffering more than she is, and it's wonderful that you still care enough to hurt for her.

Dementia is a horrible, horrible disease.

I had those same thoughts for over a year before God finally took my mother out of her misery with dementia and CHF.

When she had terrible itchy "rashes" that nobody could see and no remedies worked to cure, a can of Dermoplast I bought at Walgreens finally did the trick. It has a numbing agent in it and its a cold spray. I wonder if that would help your mom?

Sending you a big hug and a prayer that moms suffering ends soon. Make sure hospice is keeping her pain free and anxiety free too.

So very sorry. I went through similar with my
mom. It made me a confirmed Death With Dignity advocate.

(((Hugs)))