Why can I not get paid for being my husband's full time caregiver?

Hello Kittyn, feel your pain! If he is on Medi-Cal and needs paramedical services done daily (BP, sugar, needles, toileting, wound dressing/changes, etc), meal prep, bathing, medication management, help with mobility etc, he should be eligible to pay a "Caregiver" with help from the County you are in through Aging and Adult Services (IHSS). Document everything you are doing on a need-to-do basis, keep detailed records and notes on medications, doctors visits, a list of doctors and pharmacist and specialist, list any cognitive or mobility issues, any vision or hearing impairments etc, you will need all of this for your evaluation by IHSS IF he is qualified. IHSS also offers free training and qualification that meets their own specific criteria for those who want or NEED to be a Caregiver for a loved one in-home with no other reasonable options. Once you meet the criteria and are certified by IHSS, you can be paid by your husband as his Caregiver if that is what he wants. They won't pay for everything or every hour but they will and can help considerably depending on his qualifications. The key to relieving your pressure lies in his qualification for Medi-Cal (at least that's what they call it here in California, check your state). hope this helps, for your and his sake, look into it, :)

yes hes on medicaid and has the waiver.

Kittyn, I hear ya. If it was his grandkid who was doing this she could get paid and could also inherit the house without a lien on it. In many ways, this really isn't fair.

I guess when we promise to cherish "in sickness and in health" we sign up for this role. Sigh.

Perhaps it would be good to accept some help from someone else. Medicaid won't pay you but they would (depending on their evaluation) pay to have help come in for a certain number of hours. That might allow you to do a little parttime work (which could be good for both of you). For a few years I had my husband in an adult day program 2 or 3 days a week. When his needs surpassed that I had a PCA come in and free up some of my time.

If keeping him home is your goal (as it was mine) please accept any help that might be available. Cash would be nice, I understand that fully and I sympathize, but as things stand, take what you can get.