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My mum has Alzheimers & vascular dementia. She has occasionally been delusional (usually telling me a neighbour has been nasty to her) but the past couple of months the delusions are more frequent & nasty, leaving her either really angry or upset. Recently her delusions are mainly about me & our (imagined) arguments but now she's accusing my daughter of stealing money from her. Fortunately, she said it happened while she was out shopping & claimed my daughter walked over and snatched the notes from her then ran away - my mum hasn't done her own shopping for almost 2 years & can't go out alone. So far, we are able to disprove any claim she makes but I'm really worried about the nature of the delusions and if anyone happens to believe her claims. I've found so many answers here & had so much support in the past. Can anyone advise. Thanks.

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Oh please, see an attorney immediately and get her court ordered evaluation. If her delusions get to the point where she claims abuse, APS will make your life sheer misery. They will take the patient's claims as fact and your daughter could end up incarcerated.
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I am so sorry that you and your mother are dealing with this. Delusions and hallucinations are very common in dementia. Who know why some people have benign delusions and others' are very distressing? I've not seen any studies about that.

Of course you are not going to go along with her accusations, but try to avoid arguing with her or reasoning her out of them. "Oh Mother, I know Daughter would not steal from you -- that must have been a bad misunderstanding. To avoid such misunderstandings how about if we don't have Daughter do anything alone with you?" Don't try to convince her that daughter hasn't been alone with her -- only that you are sympathetic and you are going to solve the problem.

Do discuss this with her doctor, although I think delusions are hard to treat medically. And with dementia she might be better served by a specialist rather than a GP.

Also, and I hate to bring this up, persons with dementia can live alone only in the very early stage. It sounds like Mother is at a point of needing in-home care or placement. Are you looking into the future for her?
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Especially since things have gotten worse rapidly, it might be a good idea to have her checked for a uti.
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What stage is she in? Does she live alone or in a facility? Is her dementia well documented in her medical records? Do you or your daughter operate as her Durable POA?

If it is well documented that she suffers from dementia, then, I would be confident that fact would be known to those she would speak to. I mean, who does she have contact with? The doctor and family. Don't all the people who speak with her know of her delusions? A review of the financial records would disprove her accusations.

I might discuss it with her doctor. Maybe, anxiety is causing this to increase. Perhaps meds could help. And, I might lay off the shopping and other travels if she gets that agitated. Maybe, it's too much stimulation. Patients with those type of disorders sometimes get overloaded with stimuli.
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I will chat with her GP. She lives alone & we are the only family. My daughter is only 16 & I will not allow her to have any part in my mothers care as she must concentrate on her studies & being a teenager. I take full responsibility alone as there is no one else. Don't worry, sunnugirl11, I don't take mum gallivanting as she can't cope with it. Her outings are calm & short as she tires quickly. As for meds, they have been prescribed but she tells the GP they don't agree with her so its a catch-22.
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I agree with looking at options, even if she doesn't agree with the idea. Her judgment isn't going to get any better and her delusions could cause her harm.

We have a family friend who was in his 80's who had dementia and delusions. He thought there were children playing in his house and they annoyed him. Nothing persuaded him that there were no children. His family refused to intervene. One day the delusion of the children annoyed him so much that he went out into the street, (something he never did before), fell on the pavement and fractured his hip. It was horrible for him, he went downhill and never did recover.
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Thank you, Jeannegibbs. Her decline has been quite rapid in the past 6-8 weeks but she refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem. I've just read an article on here about the stages of the disease & think she's now stage 5 (but thankfully not wandering but she has sores on her face from picking her skin). I don't think she will be able to live alone for too much longer but am taking it day by day for now.
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Sunnygirl1, that's awful... The poor man. My mum often claims she hears people moving around upstairs, I offered to have a camera installed & she was so happy I believed her, she hasn't mentioned it since. I hope it worked out for the gentleman & his family
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Will do. She's seeing GP soon after blood tests yesterday, so I will mention it. Thanks.
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