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Easter weekend was her last weekend on earth. She was buried in the Easter dress I bought her. This week I filed her taxes - the final step in closing her estate. I can't seem to stop crying - silent tears flowing down my face while I work. Honestly, I never really cried after she died - there was too much to do! Is it because now its final? I knew this group would understand.

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Today is the second anniversary of my mom's death. I moved in with my dad about 8 months ago, taking early retirement and moving 1600 miles so he'd have someone to live in the house and take care of him. Today was all about his loss - but when do I get to grieve mine? In some ways I started the process before she died, since I knew she didn't have long (she had COPD). But I get so busy taking care of HIM that it's easy to push my own emotions out of the way. Frustrated, sad, missing peace and quiet while also knowing I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing right now.
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I know what you going tru..I'm on that situation right now.my mom passed away on january after her funeral i was owk but now I feel like crying everyday and think about her,I even sick now.I think it happen
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Yep, anniversary reaction. sneaks up on you. And I remember how thankful Imwas for all,the "things to do" list items when my mom passed on. Being busy postpones some of the pain. Bless you, and do realize that you have just been pronounced... NORMAL.
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Thank you all for your responses. I feel better today.
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I cried singing happy birthday to my dad on of all days april 1. Yep that was his birthday & his picture sits in my office and he smiles. He died 11yrs ago. Now I talk to him almost every morning to give me the strenght to get through with her since I blame her for his death. Yes she is a nag and drug addict at 86 and still to this day thinks I should be the one to care for her. NOT HAPPENING. So after 11yrs of her nonsense No I dont think ill be crying. Only for my dad who I miss so much.God rest his soul.
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The first anniversary of a death is always the hardest.. It does get better over time. Hang in there. Grief is a journey, not a destination
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While I was going through Mom being hospitalized, then rehab, then hospital, then rehab, then home, then hospital, then home, and then back to hospital I did not cry, just sat stunned and brain fogged and tired by evenings. Then one day about a month ago when I looked at the dishes and things we used at holidays, all Mom's recipes, I just lost it and the tears kept coming. I seem to burst into tears all of a sudden more often after this realization that things will never be as happy as they once were and this rough time is so prolonged. I also cry sometimes missing my Dad who died 21 years ago, especially lately going through all this with my Mom, and wonder where all the time went. There is no time limit to crying...it just hits when it does and sometimes it is important to just cry and let it out.
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Thank u Heart...HUGS back to you :)
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I just want to give you a great big hug Katie and Francis and any one of 'us' here that have to feel such sadness. I lost my father at 18 (my little brother was only 7), but I always feel that he is with me... It was so long ago, but it always feels like yesterday. My mother has lived with me for the past 10 years... Going through so much has meshed us together in so many ways that have made us unspeakably closer. I can't cry easily, but I know that it's not good to keep it in... so, let it out and cry... It's healthy for you. We all have to face this, but I thank God for all of you here on this website. Blessings Always...
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My heart goes out to you. I think everyone handles grief differently and sometimes the loss can hit at unexpected moments. But yes, usually, if there is a lot of activity, that will be priority and once all is settled, the gates open. I'm not an expert but I have heard and talked to many people who experienced the same thing you are talking about. When my Mom first became really dependent on me, I thought I should go through the house and try to make sense of a lot of clutter. That task stopped when I found all the materials she would use for baking cakes. I broke down into tears and couldn't continue. She's still with me and I am still caring for her, I don't think I'll ever completely stop crying.
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