The above statement is in cement and it's her way or the highway.

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A fiduciary. They are licensed, and are paid by the hour for managing your affairs.
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mary55 Mar 2020
many thanks ALVA DEER its a blessing there are people out there like yourself.
If there are no other willing relatives who are trustworthy and much younger than you (and local) then an elder law attorney might be your best bet.
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The only way you would hear from them is if you requested information. Posting to the forum does not give them permission to contact u.

I am assuming this is your only child? Do you have a trusted friend with children? All they need to do is follow your wishes. They don't need to be hands on. When you can't pay bills, they will handle it. If your hospitalized, they can tell the Dr your wishes. It only comes into effect if you are incompetent. (If that is how you have it set up) They will be able to place you in an AL or LTC.

This would be if things were cut and dry. If you have a large estate, then you may want to have a lawyer as your POA. Maybe an estate lawyer.

If you haven't already, I would start getting everything in order. See a lawyer about POAs. If you have a Will, have him go over it. If not, get one done. If you don't want to leave anything to son and his family, make sure you mention that in the Will so it can't be contested. Maybe leave them a token amount of money. Put all important papers in one place. Maybe anything of value, like jewelry in a bank box.

Consider Medicaid in all of this. Are your finances such that you can afford an AL for a few years. Private pay for LTC. Because Medicaid does a five year look back. So, if you sell property it has to be sold at Market Value if u need Medicaid within that five year period after sale. You cannot give/loan large amounts of money in that 5 yr look back either.

My Moms house was my albatross. Once she was on Medicaid, I could not use her money for upkeep. TG there was no mortgage. Just utilities which I paid for out of pocket. And no guarantee that Medicaid would allow me to be reimbursed if the house sold. I stopped paying taxes. The house didn't sell until after her death. So, the taxes got paid, Medicaid got paid, I was reimbursed and there was a little left over. But things would have been much easier if she had sold the house and gone into an apartment after Dad passed. He died 10 yrs before her. If she had sold her home, she could have sold it for what she could have gotten. She wouldn't have had to worry about the 5 year look back.

So, if you have a house, start downsizing. Get rid of or give away what you have accumulated over the years. If you haven't used it for years, you probably won't now. Think about selling and getting a nice apt. If you have money, you may want to consider a retirement community where they have independent living that transitions to Assisted Living to Longterm care. Then u know u will be cared for as u age.

Make life easy for those who you make POA. Make your life simpler by getting rid of those things you no longer need. Selling the house. Handling my Moms affairs would have been so easy if I had not had to deal with a house and the 60 yrs of accumulated junk.
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my son married a jahova witness & has turned my son & granddaughter against me .she never worked but always had her hand out. i signed my portion of house to them & they tried to evict me luckily i have life rights through the military due to my husbands death. i am still thinking of an elder care lawyer or just wait till GOD calls me,
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