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I am nearly at a breaking point. :-(. I have GOT to have some time to myself. Taking care of my mother 24/7 is really taking a toll on both my physical and mental health. I just need maybe a couple hours a week to be able to relax. Where should I look for this type of help, or who should I contact?

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Good luck on a futile attempt to get any kind of care that will free you up a few hours a week. You can always go through an agency, but they charge an arm and a leg. I know, because before my husband came down with dementia and I had to quit to care for him, I was taking care of Alzheimer's patients for over five years part time. I worked for two agencies, and they charge a small fortune.

I discovered that our health insurance provides the wherewithal for someone (it has to be someone medical) to come in for as long as eight hours a day, and the insurance will pay for it. My daughter and I drove ourselves nuts trying to get somebody. Our insurance even gave us numbers of organizations. No dice! They were all nursing homes that didn't send anybody out. We went around in circles for days and days. No wonder our health insurance will pay 100% for such care. IT ISN'T AVAILABLE!

Good luck! "God bless America!"
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Also another thought. I'm in the process of moving so setting it up this time by myself. I did a search for department of aging in my state or DHHS. Or whatever it's called in your state. On the government's webpage, it listed different agencies and options that allow for assistance in paying. In Maine they also had assistance but it came from an aging grant that allowed the loved ones to stay at home and get care rather than adult daycares which are few and far between in Maine. So check out your government webpages and see what is out there and perhaps start there and their doctors.
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I have someone care for my grandma for a few hours each day just so I can breathe. (She doesn't like to be left alone at all so those few precious 3 hours a day is huge for me). We work with a local agency in CT which helps to pay along with medicare. We only ended up paying 7% between medicare and CCCI. The CCCI company contacted a local agency and set up care. They send in people who are supposed to be trained (don't get me started on how untrained some of these individuals are but honestly I have had some wonderful ones too) and are able to give you a break. Mine come in each morning and give her a bath, get her dressed and give her the 10 and 11 o'clock pills that she takes.Then they leave in time for me to feed her lunch and then she usually relaxes in the afternoon giving me time to sit in the room with her working on a project or packing or whatever I'm doing. It's a huge relief to have time to go to the grocery store, do other errands and do my own doctor's appointments and even nap if I so choose although I seem to have other things to do that don't include napping.

Her doctor set us up with it after grandma took a fall but it continued long after she healed and she has been having them come and help her now for about 5 years.
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Some places I've visited in looking for a nice affordable place for my Dad don't want to offer respite care unless you are considering permanent placement. I found that really new or really expensive places welcome the respite business because they may have extra rooms instead of a waiting list like the really affordable good places. It may be worth it to try the expensive place just for respite, that's what I would like to try for my Dad, and think of it as a vacation or a cruise, not someplace you should get used to! I've been over ruled though, in fear he won't want to leave and they are afraid to spend that money! (what's money for if you don't spend it) It might cost a thousand to two thousand dollars a week, but it may well be worth it, for both of you. Don't forget to try the VA if your DAD was a veteran, maybe there is a spousal benefit.... (long shot, but hey).
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Vna has wonderful companions and they are given federal background checks. I have had dad in respite care 3 times a week each time. I had to self pay but the break was worth it. (Wished i could afford a month lol) we went to a local nursing home where he knew other patients and most of the staff, which helped. There are grants for 500.00 towards respite care but there is a limit to income, etc. Not sure of your financial situation. Like i said it was WORTH it for my physical and mental sanity and knowing he was in good hands eased my anxiety. It has gotten so bad now that i also hired a caregiver 3 nights a week from midnight to 7 am so i can get a few good nights sleep a week. As it gets worse (parkinsons) i will hire more because i (and i'm sure you) want to continue to live afterwards in good health. I'm willing to give up most of my life for him but not my sanity and health. Call your local vna. They are wonderful in helping you fill out forms for financial help and researching for you...which can ease your work load. Good luck. Hope this post helps. Know that we are all hear to listen and help you with our experiences. I don't know where i would be without the wonderful people on this site. Hang in there!
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'Lassie Give a Hug' is spot on with the answer. You may also Google "Home Care" or "Respite Care", you should get multiple hits for local agencies. Good luck.
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There are caregiver agencies listed in every phone book, and often reviews. I had to pay out of pocket (using mom's dwindling finances) $25 an hour but they were vetted, always always showed up, even on holidays and in the evening. I later learned many churches have a list of people who will come in for much less, and if they live nearby, so much the better. My friend has a 92 year old mother still in independent living and has hired someone from her church to stop in morning and evening. You realize as bad as it is now, she will need more and more and more care, so I would call the Office for Aging for suggestions, not just for respite, but for further down the road.
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Reach out to a local in home care agency. Most can provide respite care for a few hours a day/week to give you a chance to 'recharge your batteries'. The costs are typically fairly low, and depending depending on your state of residence, the care may be covered by Medicaid Waiver or perhaps Veterans Administration if either your mother or father were in the Service.

I suggest starting with your local Agency for Aging or the Dept of Health and Human Services.
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Jmotherofjohn I live in Ohio. You could be right, it may vary state to state. But it is always worth checking into. Thanks for pointing that out.
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Try to contact, the senior center within your state...they can help sort out what you can do. As the primary caretaker, you NEED a time away to recover from the daily toll of caretaking...do it for you and the patient.

Options are respite care coming to your home or even an adult day care program. Stay strong =(
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Tonya1 In which of the USA states do you live? I wonder if this hospice program varies by region or state?
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You might want to try the Alzheimer's Association they have different programs and will steer you into the directions on how to get the help that you need. They were very good for me and my situation. I was also taking care of my mother 24-7 until I eventually had to put her in a nursing home. it was the one thing that I had promised her that I would never do and believe me it was the hardest thing that I had ever done but I had no choice. I was physically and mentally drained and although I had plenty of family members no one came to help me... as caretakers no one knows what we deal with on a day-to-day basis it's hard and it sometimes feels like you're all alone and no one cares but get the help that you need quickly before you find yourself sick and not able to care for your mother. I wish you the best.....
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Is she under Hospice care and if not does she qualify? We are putting my mom this coming Monday in a nursing home for five days to give my dad a break. Hospice is handling everything with the nursing home and transportation. They will do this every 60 days for five days. Check with her doctor about Hospice.
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LO is our abrivation for loved one
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Call a local HomeCare agency. They can come out and meet with you, understand your needs, and then schedule a caregiver to come to your home to give you a four or five break once or twice a week. It costs money but it will help you maintain your mother-daughter relationship with your mom vs feeling like you are trapped there as her only caretaker.
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The local agency for Ageing is a good place to ask. Some nursing homes have web sites that show they do short respite care. Be sure to check out the NH well.
There are agencies that provide home care too in most areas. Make sure to choose a well known one in your area. Maybe the doctor's office or nurse there can give you some names of who other patients use too. Good luck and remember that the small moments you take for yourself add up as well. I cared for my Mom 24/7 for 19 months and learned that even the short moments for yourself do help!
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I am going through the same thing,, but last week she had a docter appointment I was telling him I need help , she is 94,, someone to come in once in awhile so I can get some time to myself, For 3 and half years the only vacation I get is a fast run to the drug store or food store,, So he waschecking her memory,, and she knew it,, she told him about how long my brothers birthwas my sisters mine and a few other past events he looked at me said her memory seemed fine I got pissed ,, I looked at her and said what did we have for dinner last night,,, she went blank, what day is it ,, she was off by 2 days,, so than he sent a nurse to our house for evauation,,,now another is coming today for physical theorpy, another tomorrow for homecare,, but he finally signed so paperwork,, Hopefully this will lead to help,,, it is very hard on caretakers and other people just keep telling me your doing a great job,,, I feel like hitting them
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What is a LO?
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It sounds like, in addition to respite, you would benefit from having others come in to care for your LO each week. Have you considered facility care? What level of care does your mother need?

Start with your local Area Agency on Aging to see what is available in your area, in terms of respite and ongoing care; also talk to her doctor about what her needs are and how they can be met.
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