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Mom only has Medicare and been in an ALF for 3 years.
1. Mom is 91 with beginning/moderate dementia, is hearing impaired/deaf, and is moody. Now, she cannot walk or use her walker to move around and is incontinent for #1 & #2. I pay ALF with mom's Medicare. ALF want me to pay for diapers since mom does not have MEDICAID. I thought this was included with ALF's monthly fee. Who pays? Me/for my Mom or ALF.
2. ALF suggests to make mom's checking account's balance lower than $2,000 for next three months and thereafter, so that my mom/ALF can apply for MEDICAID for her diapers. My mom's checking account is mine too; and the extra money is mine which I put there to make mom feel good about herself thinking she will pay for our daughter's wedding next year, but it is not moms'. She does not own property or has assets. Had I known, I would have left this account with the minimal balance and the money she get from Medicare of $1,800 only. But I do not want to remove MY money/my name is in this account (for our DAUGHTER'S WEDDING) if it is considered wrong or illegal or fraud or ??
3. Since my mom has taken a turn for the worse, and is not walking and needs diapers, should she be moved to another place that handle her new needs? Her appetite is great and has received excellent love and care here. But, perhaps I should consider her new symptoms or deterioration? But I do not know what would be proper or available for her particular needs now that she is bed- ridden? I do not know or understand the difference in care, price, or Medicare/Medicaid coverage for (A) a nursing home or (B) long term care or an ALF???HELP !!! THANKING YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR HELP.

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What does the admission contract say about supplies such as incontinent supplies? The contract should have something about supplies and incidentals.
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Thanks to everyone for giving me their wonderful and much needed help and information in answering me back...these are truly helpful to me!.
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Never commingle funds with your parent (or your spouse if you have your own income). Always keep it separate. Having done those "wedding" deposits now has increased the scrutiny (and paperwork) from Medicaid, and will delay their qualifying her. I am so sorry you did not know about this sooner......
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I would discuss the fact that she is now bedridden with the management or whoever is in charge at the Assisted Living Facility. Ask them if they are still able to provide the level of care that mom needs now. They may have a different wing they can move her into, or they may be able to step up her care to match her needs.

If the ALF says that her incontinence supplies are provided by you, then I would think that they know what they are talking about. Medicare does not pay for such items. At All.

Ask them what steps to take to get her to the point where she can be eligible for Medicaid. They can help you with this.

Initially, having the checking/savings account so that your mother could feel good about paying for your daughter's wedding might have been a good idea, I think she may be beyond knowing or caring whether this is still so. Have her Social Security and any pension or whatever money she gets continue going to that account and set up a different account for your money. You will have to give an account for this money for the Medicaid application, because it will look like you are moving money to make her eligible. If you can prove where the money came from, that might help.

Good Luck & buy your momma some Depends! She needs 'em!
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1. Pay for mom's depends with mom's money until she is on Medicaid.
2. Immediately separate her funds from yours. Co-mingled funds are a real problem with Medicaid applications.
3. Bedridden means she needs a full on nursing home, not an ALF.
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We've had to pay for diapers since my mother-in-law started using them in her asst. living/memory care facility.
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