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We had to move mother into a nursing home because she really needed 24/7 care. She actually became more active than she had been in a while. (even though I feel she despised me for it)


But what we did not know, was that at this nursing home facility, (I’m sure there are others) that when a resident is at the end of their journey, the ONLY requirement, by law, is for the facility to provide a curtain to close them off from their roommate and the others. Which also includes, possibly propping the dying patient up(so they can breath better) no curtain or door closed on this patient when she died.. right there. In front of everyone walking by..this is to me, is an invasion of privacy.. and so disrespectful to EVERYONE!! I went through this with our mother. When mother took a turn for the worse and was in the hospital at the time. We met with the administrator of the nursing home. We requested a private room and were willing to pay.. well, there wasn’t one. At this particular time, mother wasn’t going to be able to go to the Hospice Facility (which we wanted) but that is a Medicare/Medicaid issue. If there is ever a time I could have reached across a table and smack someone, it was then. (But when you are backed against a wall, you try to keep composure) the administrator stated and I quoted it “Well, when that times comes, we can push her into the activities room for y’all to be there in private” OMG! No you didn’t just say that about our mother...


What has happened to the compassion for the elders..it shouldn’t ALL be about the dollar sign...


Our mother has witnessed a couple of her roommates passing. Which NEVER should have happened. Some of the residents are depressed and this makes it worse.. it did for our mother. It’s was a cold hearted thing to offer doing that and the administrator is the one that suggested it... there was a time, mother gave her room up for the roommates family’s privacy, she hung out in the halls while the family was there. (If I had that to do over 😢 I live out of town) because there were not any available rooms. Eventually, a room was found..ABSURD!


ALL NURSING HOME FACILITIES need to provide a PRIVATE COMFORT ROOM and area for the family to gather with their loved one IN PRIVATE as they approach the end of their journey. The residents and the family deserve this. Not to be on “display” ...Not to die in front of everybody..and God knows who else comes in and out... this to me is so DISRESPECTFUL..


Our mother was able to stay at a Hospice facility. What she wanted, privacy..we were able to stay with her around the clock, with room to move and sleep when we did..family and her friends were able to come in and out without disturbing others..and stay as long as they wanted..someone to answer our questions when something happened..they took extremely good care of our mother up until the end of her journey. I want to change it for the nursing homes to have this for ALL residents. There are a few in Alabama that provide “Comfort Rooms”, why aren’t All of them REQUIRED to provide it? Would you like for you parent to be wheeled into the activities room to die???!. I have no idea where to start. Who to contact that would make a difference...and get involved to change this law in our mother’s memory.


please any information that could put me on the right track is appreciated...

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They are usually understaffed so there may not be someone available to move a dying patient to another room. Some hospitals do the same.
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Citygirl Oct 6, 2018
Plus most hospitals are private rooms already..
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If you are looking for a change in the law, you need to find out who is the Minister? Senator? other politician? responsible for aged care where you are, and write to them. You could also contact any non-profit organisation that lobbies for aged care welfare issues, and ask them to take it up. It certainly does sound appalling, and I have never heard of it being like this where I live.
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In my area I know of no NH that has a room set apart for the dying. As you said the curtain separated the beds. When my MIL was dying at rehab her roommate asked to be moved and it was done.

There is a State Dept that checks on Nursing facilities. An Ombudsmen is who you can call and investigate a complaint.

You now probably know this but Medicare never pays for the cost of a facility when a patient is on Hospice.
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Citygirl Oct 5, 2018
Our mother took a turn for the worse the night before she was to return to the nursing home... Thank the Good Lord... it was bad enough... but to return her back to a shar d room with everybody, knowing she wanted privacy. That, would have been difficult for me to have lived with. Mother died with the privacy and dignity she deserved... with her family around...
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