Follow
Share

Mom (94, with dementia) has been in the nursing home six months now. Mom is family-oriented and hasn't had many friends of her own -- Dad was the social one. She went with her sister on a bus to play bingo once in a while, but she never went downstairs in her subsidized housing building to play bingo "with those old people." She has never been interested in crafts in her life. She hasn't been to church in at least 50 years. She is a very nice person, loves a good joke, is not demanding or critical. But we expected her to sit in her room and watch television.

She goes to any event the aides invite her to, and the nh has LOTS of events. She goes to bingo, entertainment, crafts, gardening, baking, and even Bible study.

Who is this woman?

My sisters and I think that along with other lost memories she no longer remembers that she is shy in groups of strangers, she doesn't like associating with old people, and she hates crafts.

Has anyone else had a loved one at a care center replaced by a content impostor? Do you know how this is done? We'd love to be able to replace Mom's roommate with a happier impostor. Poor lady never leaves the room (which is what we expected of our mother).

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Love this, Jeanne. I guess her old life was full enough, so she didn't need more. I thought she might lay in bed all day after breaking her hip. It is great to read she is up and having fun. It sounds like you and sis picked the best place for her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

How wonderful for your mom!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Fan-bloody-tastic, Jeanne! You've given me hope :)
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My dad (89) lived alone for 12 years after my mother passed away. The only social gatherings he would attend were family events. He moved to assisted living and he now goes to bingo, wine and cheese, men's hot topics, Big Band educational series and any other musical program they offer.He even attends the resident council meetings. I have been pleasantly surprised at my wallflower dad becoming such a late social bloomer. He still likes to eat by himself in the dining room though.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Jeanne,
Odd, but absolutely wonderful! My Mom was always a social butterfly, loved crafts of any sort, was a home ex teacher after all. But each day when I take her to her day program if I told her she was going to be with friends, do crafts, sing, have a nice lunch, etc she would tell me she would rather stay home and nap. As it is I tell her we have an appointment then when we get in the car I tell her the place we are going and what she will be doing. She becomes anxious because she does not remember being there before. And the large majority of days when I pick her up, she has had a wonderful time. Once in awhile she is agitated which is because something has happened that upsets her. One of those times she had removed a hearing aid. The program called me to ask if she had both when I dropped her off. I told them to check up her sleeves and if there is a wadded up tissue that could very well be where the hearing aid is. Well, it wasn't there but led to a bit more extensive search and it was found in her bra. Her agitation, understandable, especially considering I wouldn't want people telling me where to look for it. After all I would think THEY were nuts if told to look there and with someone watching me!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

that IS trippy jeanne . my aunt is unchanged in her like and dislikes . likes bingo , hightails it for the other end of the building when the gospel band caterwahls , likes to fold towels . shes the homemaker , has always been . nh wants her to go to dementia wing . cuz and sidekick cuz terry dont even know what that is , wont tour it to see , and vehemently reject the idea . how sad . ill bet the wing is a bit of a fantasy camp . if pia keeps doing things detrimental to edna they will show her the door -- i can see it coming ..
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.