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My mother cannot be left alone and requires someone to be with her at all times. She has moderate dementia that is progressing and is on two medications. Her memory lasts about 10 to 15 minutes. Her medication is locked up in my bedroom because she tries to self medicate. I basically do everything for her but she is able to bathe herself and take care of personal hygiene, she just doesn't want to. I take care of the house, inside and outside. I take care of all finances and have for many years. I am Durable Power of Attorney over Finances and Healthcare. I was told by two doctors that she should probably be put into a NH but I got her medication and am able to care for her at home. She reads the newspaper over and over, sleeps and watches TV during the day but does nothing else anymore.

When is a person considered to be a "caregiver" and are there any Legal or otherwise specifics that qualify a person as a "caregiver" or the patient as needing a "caregiver?"

In an argument with a sibling they told me that I was not a "caregiver" (I would really like to know what I do all day long then!) and made a weird statement that our mother didn't really need one, although two doctors have recommended her being placed in a NH and having a medic alert bracelet in case she wanders off.

Would I be considered to be her caregiver, knowing these facts or should I obtain documentation from her doctors that she requires one and I am it.

Said sibling is a very hateful and nasty person and is angry that I hold DPOA and not her. There is no telling what she will do, nothing is beneath her she has even filed a false police report against me in the past. She has a mental problem that needs to be addressed but she never stays with a therapist if they do not agree with her. When I took DPOA she was robbing my mother's account for her own personal gain.

She works part time and doesn't come home until 4 hours later so she doesn't have to do anything to help out. Now she is ticked that I am leaving on the weekend and tells me that I must ask her if I can leave, she has no responsibility to take care of our mother. I told her that everyone gets a day off and since she takes five days to do whatever she wants, the weekends are mine. She says NO WAY! She has no outside life, no friends, her children have moved away and shunned her because of her horrible attitude.

What do I do?

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I too would be very leery of leaving your mother with your sister!!!

Also why do you feel you need legal definition to describe your being a caregiver? What is the purpose of having one?
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deb1129: I started to say that she would never hurt my mother but had to stop because she has grabbed my mother's arms and put bruises on her. My mother is on a blood thinner but sibling was afraid that when the doctor saw the bruises she would be told to leave the house. She made up a story to tell the doctor that would put the blame on our mother rather than her. She is actually more verbally abusive to everyone than physical, almost everything she says, begins with an "attitude," which is a problem for all of us, she is not a kind person.

I ask about being considered a "caregiver" because I was not sure if there was some type of legal definition that states 50% of everything you do for this person must be providing them physical care, via therapy, cleaning up after incontinence, bathing, washing hair, brushing teeth....actual "hands on care" verses having to be there because a person cannot be left alone due to memory issues, giving them medications, making sure they do not burn the house down or turn on a hose in the back yard and let it run for 3 days.
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I really have no comments on how to handle your sibling, but yes you are a caregiver. I don't believe there is any legal thing that is to be done to consider yourself a caregiver. You are taking care of your mother their you are her caregiver. My worry is that I would be leery of leaving your mom with someone who doesn't want to help. Would she keep your mom safe?
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