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My Father is in a nursing home and can still think for himself, however they are allowing my stepmother to invoke power of attorney and prevent him from going to lunch with me even though he clearly wants to go. I am flabbergasted that the law clearly states POA does not go into effect until a person is incapacitated, yet no one stops to think about that and follow the direction of the law. In the end he is the one that suffers when his relationship with me and his ability to go somewhere and enjoy his life after covid is being cut off. Any advice or direction would be greatly appreciated.

When was the last time you saw Dad? Could his condition have changed since you saw him?

Call his doctor and the nursing home and ask if someone has deemed your father to be incompetent. They probably can't tell you thanks to HIPPA rules, but you can point out that if that paperwork doesn't exist, then the POA is not valid, and that's a problem for them.
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Naxon45 May 6, 2021
No one can tell me anything because I'm not poa, but I'm waiting on the ombudsman and the state to finish their investigations to know more. I found an attorney that is willing to help. I'll have to raise the money for it but win or lose I have to try.
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If dad is competent he can change his poa.
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Naxon45 May 6, 2021
Indeed I believe he is. Our conversations are no different than they have been my entire life and if he says he'll call me at a certain time he does it. He was medicated when they admitted him there and he told me he feels like had a not been medicated He wouldn't have agreed to it because he thought he was going to have some therapy and go home which of course has never happened.
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A person who has both legs amputated does not qualify for nursing home care due only to that issue.

There HAS to be more medically going on with him.

Have you spoken to the social worker at the facility? Can s/he possibly act as a go between?

Is it possible that your step-mother fears that you will take your dad to a lawyer to try to get his POA or will changed?
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Naxon45 May 6, 2021
Sure sure she does. She is allowing her children to control their situation and it is not in the best interest of either one of them however unfortunately I cannot help her but I can try to help my father
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Are you saying that your father is in a nursing home but that he does NOT have dementia? That he is capable of making all his own decisions?
If that is the case, he is free to say when he would like to go out to eat. If, however, you father is incapacitated mentally or physically, his POA can decide if they feel it is in his best interest to leave the facility.
You step Mom is the Lioness at the Gate. I would try to get along with her so that you don't get locked out of being able to contribute to your Dad.
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Naxon45 May 1, 2021
Correct, he does not have dementia. He's in the nursing home because both of his legs were amputated in 2019 due to diabetes. I haven't spoken to her since 2019 and that is only because she stopped taking my calls. I have honestly done nothing to anyone and I am his only child.
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Have you read your dad's POA document?

How do you know that 2 doctors have not stated that dad is no longer able to determine what is in his best interests?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Naxon45 May 1, 2021
No one will show me the document because I'm not poa. He can think and make decisions for himself He is not confused so if a doctor deemed him incompetent then that doctor needs to be investigated.
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