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We take care of them/she controls funds. My husbands parents live in a in-law suite attached to our home and we help them. We provide their main meals plus. We have to remind them to take a bath and sometimes help. We also have to check the food in their refrigerator for spoiled food. They agreed when they moved in to help out with the food and their utilities. This has become a problem due to my husbands sister telling his parents that they have no money. When she sends funds for the utilities it is past the due date that we have to pay the bills and is putting a hardship on us. We want to make sure that my husbands parents have the proper nutrition and are kept social, due to their failing memory problems. My husbands older sister and brother have gone behind out back and taken his parents house and keep telling them that they don't have any money. My husbands sister and brother will not communicate and don't do anything for his parents, except take them to the cleaners. What can we do? who do we contact?

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First off, this whole problem could have been avoided if you had an attorney put together a rental and care agreement with your inlaws and SIL BEFORE they moved in with you. Now, you desperately need an eldercare attorney. What is happening/has happened in regards to your inlaws is called Financial Exploitation of the Elderly. The SIL has created a scenario where if you ever need to place either parent in a nursing home (for example one of them breaks a hip and needs to be in a nursing home after that), there is a 5 year lookback for medicaid and you will have to pay these expenses out of pocket because of all the "gifts" the SIL has taken. So the SIL has not only ripped off her parents, she has also ripped you off in advance for thousands of dollars. The problem is that she is financial POA. So, you are going to have to hire an eldercare attorney to figure out how to solve this problem. The attorney is probably going to have your husband try to get guardianship of his parents. The attorney may also have your husband report the sister to the police, depending on the laws in her state. It's terrible when someone trusted to be the POA turns out to be untrustworthy.
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The SS and home payments have to be somewhere. See if you can find an Elder Law attorney to work pro-bono and get them Guardianship.
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LL, Thank you
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LL,
Call adult protective services now! Who has their powers of attorney? If they have not been found incompetent they can change their POA.
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pstegman, the oldest brother got them to somehow sell their home to him with 10.00 down and them holding financing, with the sister getting the payments. Some how the parents don't seem to know anything and say they have no money.
I just need to know who to go to? I know what I am doing is right in trying to take care of them, but it is putting a hardship on us.
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It sounds like someone is mishandling their social security. Who gets those checks and what are they used for? The house can be rented out and generate income. Between the rent and their SS, they could move to Assisted Living. Call your county social services Adult Protection Service and ask for help. You say they control the money, but do they have a POA (Power of Attorney) signed by both parents? Sit down and figure out what portion of the utilities and grocery expenses are your parents: If there are four of you, they should pay half.
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Call your local Area of Aging.. They have people who can check into it for you.. Also Adult Protection Services...
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