I have written on this site before. I took the advice given and I backed off from my Mom and my family. You all were right....they are dysfunctional. I still checked on my mom from time to time. I could not find her last week. The neighbors told me they had gone over to her house one day and she was not home. They went over the next day and she still did not answer the door. Then the story gets fuzzy. Somehow they got in the house and found her on the floor. She was very confused and had soiler her pants. THey called the ambulance and was taken to the hospital. After searching hospitals and nursing homes and therapy facilities.....I finally found her. She had been committed to the mental hospital. My sister or anyone in my family never even called me to let me know anything. There has been some family friction between me and my two sisters for a long time now. If it rings a bell with anyone I am the one who has written in before about my two sisters who married two brothers and my sister who lives in the same town as my mom and I do has had brain surgery and is a hoarder....she is so bad they could make a tv show about her. After my dad passed away over two years ago my sisters took my mom down and changed everything.....took my name off of everything (I had been taking care of her and my dad for years and years. I was on the bank accounts and I was executor on their will.) They made my mental hoarding sister the power of attorney for everything. Now here is my Mom has been committed and no one will tell me anything because I am not the power of attorney. My sisters will not answer calls and the only time they have called me is to accuse me of stealing mom's money or her safety deposit box key or just to accuse me of whatever they feel like. I know there is some kind of hearing coming in with a one will tell me where or how it is done or what. They said the judge will decide my mom's outcome. Whether to keep her committed there or send her to a nursing home or what. What can I do? I don't want her there or in a nursing home. She is very pleasant and seems to be ok....but this mental hospital has a lot to be desired. It is like visiting her in prison. It is just a miracle from God I found her and the biggest miracle is that I found out her code or I could not even be allowed to visit. It is like visiting her in prison. You call and let them know you are there.....they come and get you and you have to tell them her code and sign in. You go through two locked doors and cannot carry anything inside. They are not doing any activities or therapy with her......she just goes to the common room (as they call it) and she just sits there all day. She keeps telling me she wants to go home. Is there any way I can find out what I can do? She seems to be very medicated. They all seem very sedated there. It is a sad place. I can only visit for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. So far...I have only been there for the last two days.....I have not ran into my sister but I know that confrontation is coming. As of this letter she does not know I have found mother. I asked mother why no one called me...she said she told my sister to call me and my sister said she couldn't do that. I did find out they can make phone calls from there so I told my mom to call me......but I am not sure she can even remember my number from memory. What should I do? If it helps I live in Texas.

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I am trying to find my sister who was put in an assisted living home by her son and daughter in law. She has dementia and I would just like to visit her, we have been best friends all our lives and now they won't tell me where she is because they know that I know they have taken everything from her and treated her badly. Does anyone know what are the first steps I need to take?
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I think that you should work through an attorney. The first goal would be to attend the hearing and make sure that you have some input so the broader picture can be seen by those making decisions. I don't think you can do that effectively on your own. Get a lawyer as soon as possible.
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