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Those of us who have an elderly loved on who still lives independently with our help need to have peace of mind when we want to go on vacation. I usually have a neighbor take over going to Bingo and shopping two to three days a week. She gets paid but is also a family friend. Now that my Mom is 93 and showing more signs of senile dementia, I worry that I need to have other options in place as well so my neighbor doesn't feel overwhelmed or obligated since this isn't her relative and her real motivation is to help me.
I would appreciate any advice and ideas you can share.
Thank you!

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When you are thinking that it is about time, most of us will say it is past time. Relying more and more on neighbors is telling. Try not to increase paying the neighbor and start hiring professionals that will probably have much more to tell you.
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Reply to MACinCT
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Since Mom is showing signs of Dementia, I would not leave her alone. Dementia is unpredictable. She could leave a pot on the stove and forget about it. Suggestion for finding an AL with respite is a good one. The cost will be worth not worrying about her. Eventually Mom will not be able to live alone. An AL will be your next choice if Mom can afford it.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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There are several option.
Many places that are Assisted Living or Memory Care will take someone for Respite for a week or two. I used a Memory Care where my Husband had been going for "Day Care" and place him there for 3 weeks.
You can hire someone to come in and if (this is a BIG if) it is safe for her to be alone at night the caregiver could come in from 8 AM and someone could be there until after dinner. If she can do well getting to bed then the caregiver could leave before that. There is a good possibility with the people she knows leaving she may decline and you will find that someone should be there 24 hours.
It might be good to install cameras so that you can observe her and if you think she needs 24 hour supervision you can contact the agency and change the hours to a 24 hour care.
Probably the easiest would be a facility.
As she declines more will she be kept at home or will she permanently move to Memory Care? If she will move this might be a good time to see how she will adjust.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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When my husband and I went on a cruise for our 25 wedding anniversary last year, we placed my mom in respite care in a local nursing home for the 2 weeks. It was self pay. Some LTC policies, if there is one, allow for respite care.

If you decide to do that, I would contact the facility way ahead and find out what is needed by them. Here in NY anyone being placed in a nursing facility has to have an evaluation by an RN within 30 days of placement. It was the hardest thing to find an independent RN who was qualified to perform the evaluation in our home. Most agencies with RN's who will do it are looking for you to hire their agency for in home care.

It can be done, but you have to be really proactive about it.

Ggood luck,
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Reply to notgoodenough
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