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My mother is 79 years old and a massive stroke survivor. She has in the last few years been getting worse and worse with her wild stories of seeing people that aren't there and telling stories that cannot possibly have happened. She has been accusing me of "taking everything" from her and treating her like a child and she is not going to take it. She is starting to tell anyone who will listen that I am mistreating her and stealing from her. Most people when they first meet my mom or haven't seen her in a while would most likely believe her because around strangers and such, she is so sweet and innocent sounding.

She has an appointment with a geriatric psychologist that she will hopefully be convinced to go to. But, will the psychologist be able to tell what is really going on if my mom is in her sweet and innocent mode???

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Psychologist? No, you need an MD. Psychiatrist or Neurologist.
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I know the diagnosis wouldn't really change anything, but at least it would put a label on this crazy behavior and I can "blame the disease." I could also maybe get some help for myself to learn how to deal with her accusations and behavior.

I asked her yesterday how come she couldn't just be happy with someone helping her and taking care of her. She asked, "what's there to be happy about?!" I told her she had me, her grandkids, great-grandkids... but I know what she was eluding to was that I could never replace my younger brother who passed away a couple of years ago unexpectedly. She is upset that I was with him and she couldn't be because her stroke left her in a wheelchair and she can't travel. I could go on and on, but I know that pretty much everyone on here is dealing with some of the same issues I am. I am just happy I found this site. I don't feel so alone!
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First as a family we noticed mom was slipping. A good neurologist (there are those who specialize in dementia) would be the best for diagnosing her. They will do a brain scan where they can see the changes in her brain. They can also help you with many of your questions and often have a CSW that can help you.
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I have to admit that I was the first person to diagnose my mother's dementia. There was no other explanation for her lack of reasoning and memory loss. I think family is the first to know it, because they see the changes. My mother had the same primary care doctor for 20 or so years. He never diagnosed it. When we switched to a geriatric specialist two years ago, her doctor finally diagnosed it. The cause, however, is not specified. Alzheimer's, vascular, metabolic? Maybe a little bit of each of the different types? Her diagnosis made it official, but it was something I had known for years. It didn't really change anything, but may be important if we need to assume the POA responsibilities. (I am POA for healthcare, my brother is POA for financials.)
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