Follow
Share

Brother won't produce the POA. She has been there for at least a week in a sparse room with no tv and for the first few days he took her cell phone. He also put a restriction that she was not to leave the facility unless with him. (We did not know this). We took her out one day to eat and to bake cookies for Christmas. My brother called the police. (Which went nowhere). The day after he went to her house and changed the locks because we took her out. If he has a POA I think he is usurping his authority. My mother is forgetful and may have very early stages of dementia (although again I have not been given much info here). She is capable of saying who she wants to be with; recognizes everybody and can tell you all the birthdays of her children and grandchildren.


I need to know what rights do I have as a son? There are only 2 siblings, me and my brother.

Steve1957, I understand what you're being told in an attempt to help and that includes me. You have the right to learn what your brother is up to with Mom. Go to the County Recorder's office and request to see documents such as guardian/conservator. As a son with concern medically about Mom, you can request a meeting with her doctor. I became medical POA with my siblings writing statements, notarized giving me the POA. This was acceptable because Mom could not legally sign POA and I had to get sibling's to agree without interference. Dr was more than happy to talk with me as the sibling who took the POA away from me had not taken Mom to see him in over a year!! I got ALL OF THE 411 regarding Mom's medical history! Then issues with step-siblings. I had to get my siblings' ok to become guardianship/conservator. Step-sister told the bank I committed fraud and Adult Protective services investigated, joke on her! YOUR BROTHER maybe doing all of this for financial gain, so he waited until you were out of town. Talk with APS as they can get any/all info from facility, legally! Your brother will be investigated, Mom will be visited by a caseworker and questioned. IF she has difficulty answering or confused, that's when the State comes in and you will have a legal means of forcing your brother into Court to explain EVERYTHING. He may have, stress may have forced her to sign documents that she didn't know what she was doing, ILLEGAL! If you can get the Dr's diagnosis showing a date prior to your vacation, then brother is 99% up to no good. Check bank accounts if possible. APS can help with that OR you can call/go to the bank and asked Fraud dept to investigate because you "think" something is amiss.
It would be nice if we could all forgive and forget, but all of us are not lucky enough to have "HONEST" family members. I have 2 that I would not allow to get anywhere near Mom's processions AND especially her money. They nor the step-siblings cannot get into the house because I changed the locks LEGALLY. You don't have to be part owner to change the locks. You can get Court permission with justification. After a lifetime of sibling deceit 2out of 3 and now 4 step-siblings, I do not trust anyone except 1 Uncle. The assisted living facility manager CALLS ME for decisions regarding both my Mom and step-father. Today we had an hour long talk which I told her they need to call the contract Dr about my step-father as his Alzheimer's/dementia is becoming uncontrollable. His kids refuse to accept his complete condition and haven't seen him since Father's day. I'm back home once a month to checkup on them, the dog, Mom's property etc.
IF YOU FEEL IN YOUR GUT SOMETHING IS WRONG....DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU'RE SATISFIED.
FYI, anyone can be placed in a facility if you can get a Dr to diagnose so you can get them into their care, then that's when the FORK RUNS AWAY WITH THE SPOON!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to dkentz72
Report

At age 91, assisted living facilities will have medical and financial histories of your mom's. This means a financial and individual POA is in place for her. If you are not listed as a family member or authorized person, the facility legally can not speak to you. If your brother is the POA on record with the assisted living facility you need to know. This will relieve you of any legal responsibility and puts it in all in your brother's lap.

If your brother is a part owner on the house property/tax deed he can change the locks - especially if the house is unoccupied.
The house needs to be safeguarded in case she needs it sold to pay for her care. If your brother has financial POW he must handle the insurance and maintenance until a decision is made about the property.

An attorney can set things up to make sure her health and financial interest is secured if that is something your brother and you just aren't able to work out. If the attorney can set this up for your mom's benefit, there is less incentive to fight over anything.

Regardless of whether you have had a falling out with your brother in the past or if this is the first time, you are both now grieving even though she has not died.

Make the effort to resolve with your brother. Both yours and his actions and reactions today will stay with both of you forever. You and your brother stand to loose each other because of a fight your mother never intended.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Houseplant102
Report

steve1957, an Assisted Living facility would not take a new resident unless that resident meets the criteria to be in such a facility. Apparently the facility felt your Mom now needed a village to take care of her.

Have you been around your Mom late afternoons and into the evenings? If not, it could be your Mom is "sundowning". My Dad had that, after dinner he would mentally climb into his time machine and transport himself back to the 1940's. I never knew this was happening until the Staff at his Independent Living told me I may want to consider moving Dad to Assisted Living. Plus Dad was falling more, forgetting to use his walker. And, gasp, Dad was wandering trying to go outside at night.

Whenever someone moved to Assisted Living from home, usually the Staff request that the family have no communication with the love one for two weeks, that way the love one can learn the Staff and become familiar with their surroundings. That could be the reason your brother took away your Mom's cellphone.... or either your Mom had been calling him 20 times a day [that can happen with dementia].

What you and your brother need to do is work as a team to help your Mom... stop with pitting at each other. Call a family meeting so both of you can learn what is going on regarding Mom.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to freqflyer
Report

Call APS NOW!!!
They will straighten this out!
They tend to work quickly especially when you make it so it is an emergency!
hgn
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to hgnhgn
Report

This website has a list of 18 Elder Law Attorneys
near Marcus Hook, PA
To assist you in your search for legal counsel and representation, the AgingCare.com Pennsylvania Elder Law Attorneys Attorney Directory features descriptions of services, areas of specialization, and contact information for individual lawyers and law firms in Marcus Hook, PA.
You will need to review the list and see if there is an Elder Law Attorney that you are interested in contacting about your situation.  If your Mother lives in a different state, you can search the AgingCare.com Elder Law Attorney webpage for the city and state that your Mother lives in or near. Hope that this list is helpful.

Copy and Paste the URL to your browser:
https://www.agingcare.com/local/search/elder-law-attorneys/marcus%20hook%2c%20pa
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to DeeAnna
Report

If Mom is competent, the POA is not in effect. Ask the facility if they have a copy of the POA.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

RED LIGHT.....FLAGS FLAPPING.

You have the right to see the POA.
You have the right to call the police to investigate or Adult Protective services to investigate.
Have the home open their records to you, your brother has basically KIDNAPPED Mom.
What did the police do? Did they have the original POA or copy to prove what your brother claims?
Go to Court as an INTERESTED PARTY. Your brother will be served by the Court investigator and PROVE EVERYTHING.
Was Mom forced to sign documents? Was the Notary a friend? Did the Notary do ALL OF THE REQUIRED PAPERWORK? FORCE your brother to open ALL FINANCIAL EXPENSES VIA ADULT PROTECTIVE SERVICES OR COURT.
IF you go to Court (I would in this instance) be prepared to pay all legal fees should you lose. Brother will have to should he lose.
The Court will appoint a "PROFESSIONAL FIDUCIARY" possibly forever or once you prove to the Court you're the family member qualified for the job (professional is paid from Estate), then Professional will be dismissed but you will be required to answer to the Court at ANY TIME, but at least once a year. All finances, visits and care for Mom.
I would suggest you get a VERY GOOD FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY. NOT JUST SOMEONE WHO DRAWS UP WILLS, TRUSTS, COURT DOCUMENTS. A TRULY HANDS ON FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY BEFORE YOUR BROTHER TAKES MOM AWAY AGAIN AND WILL NOT TELL YOU WHERE SHE IS....AGAIN KIDNAPPING. HE'S DOING SOMETHING HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT!!!!
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to dkentz72
Report

Mom, if competent can change her POA any time she wants. What does mom want? Call the Area Agency on Aging for a visit to mom and talk about what she wants.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to gladimhere
Report

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter