I think this depends on the person, some will be insulted when you finish their sentences and some will be grateful. It can also depend on your previous communication style: my mom and I could often intuit what the other was saying and jump in before the other person finished voicing their thoughts, but my uncle was insulted when I did the same thing to him (he was a habitually slow talker!).
The extent of the communication problems experienced by people with dementia depends on the severity of the illness. Someone in the early stages of dementia may have milder communication problems than a person with advanced dementia. Communication problems caused by dementia include: saying a great deal but not conveying any meaning
- difficulty concentrating on tasks or conversation topics
- difficulty remembering old or new information
- problems understanding words
- problems expressing thoughts and feelings.
As dementia progresses, communication becomes less verbal. People rely on body language and tone of voice to understand what others are saying and to express their own feelings, needs and wants.
How can I improve communication with someone who has dementia?
People with dementia can find it difficult to concentrate on conversations or certain tasks, such as making a cup of tea. They can become easily distracted or forget what they're doing.
People with dementia may also have difficulty finding the right words, especially the names of objects. They may use the wrong word or they might not be able to find any word at all.
Tips for communicating with someone with dementia:
Make sure you have the full attention of the person before you speak to them.
Make sure they can see you clearly.
Make eye contact with them. This will help them to focus on you.
Minimise background noise and other distractions, such as the radio, TV or other people's conversations.
Give the person plenty of time to talk. Don't press them to remember the right word unless you need it to understand what they are saying.
If the person has difficulty finding the right word or finishing a sentence, ask them to explain it in a different way.
If they are struggling to speak, suggest other ways of expressing themselves, such as drawing, gesturing or pointing.
Keep sentences short. Simple. One topic. Do not speak quickly. I learned to wait about 5-10 seconds for responses-which has helped a lot. Often peripheral vision (what can be seen from the side of one's eyes) has changed. Face to face is best when talking. I remind myself, that this is the disease "speaking" when there are communication blips/issues, and it's not always my husband. If there are odd sentences/observations that don't make sense, I do not correct and either roll with it or let it slide. Again-it's the disease "talking". Sometimes my husband is very quiet in the car when I'm driving. I do not force conversation-but will point out something interesting-say a small flock of birds. Just to keep him visually engaged and not (I hope) feeling too isolated.
Good response below from MargaretMcKen. When my aunt struggled with finding words and got frustrated I just told her not to worry it would circle back around. Sometimes it did!
Sometimes I went down a list of possible names of things or people and she would say yes or no.
My experience is decades with a sister with aphasia. Probably the most important thing is patience, just accept that it’s a slower conversation. If the hang-up is with a particular word, it can help to get past it by talking yourself a little bit more about the issue. That’s less ‘insulting’ than guessing what they want to say, and often gets past the hang-up and provides a different approach for them to use, without finding that particular lost word. Another alternative for ‘do you want this or that’, is to offer ‘this’. That lets them accept it, or say no, – so you know to get ‘that’.
While it may depend on the person's brain chemistry/changes, I would give them time to find a word - the word. (As I TOO can't find my words ... )
You could ask the person if they want you to suggest the word they are looking for.
I remember when I used to 'help' a client (of 2+ years) by jumping to give her the word she couldn't find and she reprimanded me to stop doing that.
And, perhaps that / those words do not matter.
If they are asking a question and can't finish the sentence, you could rephase or reflect back to them what they did say "I hear you saying xxx" or let it go and change the subject. Or as I used to do with my client who spoke jibberish with such emotion and enthusiam to 'talk to me' and share her thoughts and secrets, I would respond "I have to think about that ..." or "that's a good idea, I didn't consider that." And, the truth of "I don't know" is good too.
No cookie cut answer here. Although with the changing brain and dementia, nothing is cookie cutter. We learn and respond as we go. We are in the moment doing the best we can.
I appreciate your compassion. Sensitivity and patience - to the person with their changing brain - is so important to providing support.
If you are trying to communicate then helping them out is best. I find that offering some suggestions helps. When they say they want that doohickey then I will ask leading questions like “What color is it?”, “Where did you have it last?” etc until I figure it out. Yes or no questions can help, too like “Is it something you eat?” But I don’t offer actual words unless they are in distress about something.
If you are thinking that helping too much is a crutch and you are asking if it is better to have them struggle a little then I think that isn’t a bad thing to let them. Sometimes I know the word they want but I pretend I don’t so that they can figure it out themselves. That isn’t to be cruel but to help exercise those neurons. I let them come up with the words themselves and finish their thoughts and sentences instead of feeding them to them. Sometimes you would be surprised what they are really trying to say when you let them finish their thoughts.
Like already said, it really does depend on the person you're dealing with and also if they've been diagnosed with aphasia or not. My late husband developed aphasia after having a massive stroke at the age of 48. Over time I learned to become a pretty good mind reader and usually could figure out what he was trying to say to me. And he appreciated when I could fill in the blanks with the right words that he was trying to say. The only time he would get frustrated was when try as I might I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say. So do whatever works best for you and your loved one as no 2 people are the same and what works for one may not work for the other.
Caring for someone with dementia becomes so much a matter of what works for THEM and what works for you. Sometimes you can place the word and someone is grateful. Sometimes they may be angry and feel interrupted and corrected. And it can all be a matter of mood.
It's a matter of muddling through best you can given you KNOW this person and what MAY work best, but given that you understand the unpredictability of it.
"I think what you're saying is that (fill in the blank)." If you know the person well, that becomes increasingly easy to do. It takes patience but so does everything else to do with dementia, so play it the best you can.
The extent of the communication problems experienced by people with dementia depends on the severity of the illness. Someone in the early stages of dementia may have milder communication problems than a person with advanced dementia.
Communication problems caused by dementia include:
saying a great deal but not conveying any meaning
- difficulty concentrating on tasks or conversation topics
- difficulty remembering old or new information
- problems understanding words
- problems expressing thoughts and feelings.
As dementia progresses, communication becomes less verbal. People rely on body language and tone of voice to understand what others are saying and to express their own feelings, needs and wants.
How can I improve communication with someone who has dementia?
People with dementia can find it difficult to concentrate on conversations or certain tasks, such as making a cup of tea. They can become easily distracted or forget what they're doing.
People with dementia may also have difficulty finding the right words, especially the names of objects. They may use the wrong word or they might not be able to find any word at all.
Tips for communicating with someone with dementia:
Make sure you have the full attention of the person before you speak to them.
Make sure they can see you clearly.
Make eye contact with them. This will help them to focus on you.
Minimise background noise and other distractions, such as the radio, TV or other people's conversations.
Give the person plenty of time to talk. Don't press them to remember the right word unless you need it to understand what they are saying.
If the person has difficulty finding the right word or finishing a sentence, ask them to explain it in a different way.
If they are struggling to speak, suggest other ways of expressing themselves, such as drawing, gesturing or pointing.
Avoid asking open-ended questions.
Source: https://www.stroke.org.uk/what-is-aphasia/aphasia-and-dementia
Keep sentences short. Simple. One topic.
Do not speak quickly.
I learned to wait about 5-10 seconds for responses-which has helped a lot.
Often peripheral vision (what can be seen from the side of one's eyes) has changed. Face to face is best when talking.
I remind myself, that this is the disease "speaking" when there are communication blips/issues, and it's not always my husband.
If there are odd sentences/observations that don't make sense, I do not correct and either roll with it or let it slide. Again-it's the disease "talking".
Sometimes my husband is very quiet in the car when I'm driving. I do not force conversation-but will point out something interesting-say a small flock of birds. Just to keep him visually engaged and not (I hope) feeling too isolated.
Sometimes I went down a list of possible names of things or people and she would say yes or no.
You could ask the person if they want you to suggest the word they are looking for.
I remember when I used to 'help' a client (of 2+ years) by jumping to give her the word she couldn't find and she reprimanded me to stop doing that.
And, perhaps that / those words do not matter.
If they are asking a question and can't finish the sentence, you could rephase or reflect back to them what they did say "I hear you saying xxx" or let it go and change the subject. Or as I used to do with my client who spoke jibberish with such emotion and enthusiam to 'talk to me' and share her thoughts and secrets, I would respond "I have to think about that ..." or "that's a good idea, I didn't consider that." And, the truth of "I don't know" is good too.
No cookie cut answer here. Although with the changing brain and dementia, nothing is cookie cutter. We learn and respond as we go. We are in the moment doing the best we can.
I appreciate your compassion. Sensitivity and patience - to the person with their changing brain - is so important to providing support.
Gena / Touch Matters
If you are trying to communicate then helping them out is best. I find that offering some suggestions helps. When they say they want that doohickey then I will ask leading questions like “What color is it?”, “Where did you have it last?” etc until I figure it out. Yes or no questions can help, too like “Is it something you eat?” But I don’t offer actual words unless they are in distress about something.
If you are thinking that helping too much is a crutch and you are asking if it is better to have them struggle a little then I think that isn’t a bad thing to let them. Sometimes I know the word they want but I pretend I don’t so that they can figure it out themselves. That isn’t to be cruel but to help exercise those neurons. I let them come up with the words themselves and finish their thoughts and sentences instead of feeding them to them. Sometimes you would be surprised what they are really trying to say when you let them finish their thoughts.
My late husband developed aphasia after having a massive stroke at the age of 48. Over time I learned to become a pretty good mind reader and usually could figure out what he was trying to say to me.
And he appreciated when I could fill in the blanks with the right words that he was trying to say.
The only time he would get frustrated was when try as I might I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say.
So do whatever works best for you and your loved one as no 2 people are the same and what works for one may not work for the other.
Caring for someone with dementia becomes so much a matter of what works for THEM and what works for you. Sometimes you can place the word and someone is grateful. Sometimes they may be angry and feel interrupted and corrected. And it can all be a matter of mood.
It's a matter of muddling through best you can given you KNOW this person and what MAY work best, but given that you understand the unpredictability of it.
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