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If you have a PACE program near you, they provide respite as part of their program. My MIL had too many assets for PACE so we had to private pay for respite. I called every facility within 15 my and found a few that had only a 2 week requirement rather than the month. The one we used several times eventually let her stay for only a week since they knew her and saved us the cost of having her there when we didn't need it.
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Reply to sueschuld1
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MonkeyShark-Start with the Council on Aging in your locality.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Finding Respite Care for Caregivers
Respite care provides temporary relief for caregivers who are responsible for someone with a serious illness, disability, or age-related condition. It allows caregivers to rest, attend to personal needs, or take a vacation, while ensuring their loved one is still safe and supported.
Types of Respite Care
1. 1. In-Home Respite Care:
• A trained aide or nurse comes to the home to provide care. Can be scheduled for a few hours a day or overnight.
2. 2. Adult Day Programs:
• The care recipient goes to a supervised setting during the day. Offers socialization, meals, and activities.
3. 3. Facility-Based Respite:
• Short-term stays in a skilled nursing facility, assisted living, or hospice house. Can range from a few days to several weeks.
How to Find Respite Care
4. 1. Local Area Agency on Aging (AAA):
• These agencies coordinate senior services, including respite care. Find yours through the Eldercare Locator (https://eldercare.acl.gov) or call 1-800-677-1116.
5. 2. Family Caregiver Support Programs:
• Many states have programs that provide free or low-cost respite care to unpaid caregivers. Often administered by the AAA or Department of Aging.
6. 3. Medicaid Waivers:
• In some states, Medicaid offers Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS) waivers that include respite care.
7. 4. Veterans Affairs (VA):
• Veterans may be eligible for respite care through the VA Caregiver Support Program.
8. 5. Private Pay Services:
• Agencies such as Home Instead, Visiting Angels, Comfort Keepers, or local home health agencies offer respite care for a fee.
9. 6. Faith Communities and Charities:
• Churches, senior centers, and nonprofits sometimes offer volunteer-based respite or companionship programs.
Tips for Choosing a Respite Provider
• Check credentials: Ensure staff are trained and background-checked.
• Ask about flexibility: Can they accommodate evenings, weekends, or emergencies?
• Involve the care recipient: A smoother transition happens when they feel included in decisions.
• Do a trial run: A short visit can help both the caregiver and the person receiving care adjust.
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Reply to HaveYourBack
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Speak to Medicare or an elder care lawyer
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Reply to Spivak1954
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ai answer is:
. . . facilities need to ensure the patient is medically stable and appropriate for their setting . . .

Contact the facility you have in mind and ask about their eligibilty requirements and clarify how much you willh ave to pay out-of-pocket. Medical expenses should continue to be covered as they are at home, but you usually need to pay for the "room and board" part of a facility stay.
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Reply to RedVanAnnie
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You can contact your local department of aging or state health department to find resources or elder services or your local church to find some information.
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Reply to Senior8
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AndiGil Jan 1, 2026
That is so helpful. Thank you. I need a break but am always so scared when I do.

My mother has historically exacerbated her symptoms and so now, it is difficult for me to tell the true signs that she's slipping away from me.

Dude. Is there a checklist of real symptoms to indicate more accurately when or of I'm losing her?

Although those, too, are I'm sure, depending on the person.

I just miss her really you know. I don't know if I'll ever have another relationship with someone who doesn't sometimes rub my face in my shit.
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When my mom was living with me. I still wanted (and needed) to take my regular vacation. When I wasn't hearing back from my sister about mom staying with her, I started looking at Assisted Living facilities. I found more seemed to want at least a month stay and it is expensive. I don't know if they have rooms set aside and you can reserve in advance or you can reserve with short notice if they happen to have a room available.

The second week my mom was on home hospice, I was offered respite (5 days I think) and they found a place my mom could stay. I turned it down as my mom seemed to be declining fast. I'm glad I did as she passed away during the time she could have been placed...and that would have been harder on me.
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Reply to gnyg58
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Respite care might be available for people receiving hospice services. Medicare will pay for hospice care as long as all requirements are met. Coverage details from Medicare's website: "Once you choose hospice care, your hospice benefit should cover everything you need. You and your family will work with your hospice care team to set up your plan of care. What kinds of services does a plan of care include?" This web page explains that a plan of care MIGHT include the following: "Inpatient respite care  for up to 5 days. Your hospice provider arranges respite care for you and you can get it more than once, but only on an occasional basis."   
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Reply to Rosered6
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If she is already on in home hospice, she may qualify for a certain number of residential care days. I think it depends on your state. My dad got 5 days free respite every 60 days of hospice. The respite was more for his caregivers. Ask your hospice provider.
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Reply to Suzy23
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To get help thru Medicaid, Mom has to qualify. This means she has no financial assets over 2k and her monthly income is under the limit. She can have a home. Medicare has an intermediate in home program but they is only a few hours.

Respite is out of pocket usually. Some Assisted Livings and LTC will allow someone to temporarily stay they at a cost. This way family can go on vacation. If you are talking about someone coming in daily for a few hours or a few days a week, Mom will have to pay or you.

Call your Office of Aging to see if they know of anyone.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Money and where you can get it from, that is the basic qualification. Unfortunately, most of my friends had to self-pay.
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Reply to MeDolly
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Respite care criteria is determined by the agencies providing said care. This may be your own supplemental insurance, your own long term care insurance or it may be through governmental grants or programs through Medicaid. I would begin by discussing this with your Mom's MD. If there are no answers forthcoming from there then you may want to call your local council on aging. If there are no answers there you may need to consider this to be self-paid through your Mom's or your own assets. I hope not, as it is expensive.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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