Im exhausted, stressed and awful to live with and its just the beginning of his memory lost. He is 88 yo im 60 just moved in a new area 10 days ago) . I have no help On my side..Im 60 I have angryness, I am crying too often, lack of sleep,all kind of insatisfaction, I have to repeat all the time On his side....he is in the bed 18 to 20 hours a days, He can stay up 1:30 and after this...tantrum, impatience, selfishness.
I love him but Im afraid I am going in a wall! I hate myself to do not know what to do to help. Mostly I am discouraged.
You said you just moved. Do you have family nearby now?
Is this your husband or your father you are caring for? Does he live with you?
When we're dealing with someone with dementia we can't do anything to improve the dementia. Someone with dementia is not rational and can't be expected to respond in a rational way. We make sure they eat and drink, we make sure they take their medications, and we try to give them some quality of life. This is a lot of work, as you know. Especially for one person. And when the person we're caring for is obsessive and angry it makes things so much more difficult.
You need help. Not help for him but help for you. You're burned out and you need some time to yourself. You said you don't have any family nearby but does he? Can you afford a caregiver to come in a few hours a day? During that time you can go out or stay in and sleep, whatever you want.
Have you considered a nursing home? Your loved one could be eligible for Medicaid which would pay for the nursing home.
I know how difficult it is to look at your options when your upset and when we're depressed everything seems hopeless but you reached out and that's a good start.
If your husband is unsafe to be alone or bedridden, I can't even IMAGINE how one person could care for him. I hope you can find home help, if you want to keep him at home. Or a nursing facility with a memory care unit where you can visit as often as you like and be his loving wife.
Alzheimer's Disease is tragic. (My late husband was 28 years older than I. He died at 73, when I was 45.)