My 89 year old mother in law is in rehab after a brief hospital stay for heart failure issues. She normally lives with my husband and I so it has been a very welcome break for me as I am her full time caregiver ( working part time). She has had PT several times over the past year after breaking her hip a year ago and is fine while the therapist is with her but will do NOTHING if left to herself. Before rehab she can stand with a walker and go to the bathroom by herself ( depends for leaks) but is in diapers in the rehab and is messing herself more. She is doing ok in PT and is walking a little but I am worried that not letting her out of bed to toilet herself is making her incontinence worse. I have told her and my husband that she cannot come home if she cannot get out of bed to bathroom. Last year I had her commode next to her bed and she got up when she needed to and went back to bed. One morning she decided it was too much trouble and ever since then I have to get her in and out of bed. I have nagged her on a daily basis to get up and move to keep her mobile but she will just sit in her recliner for hours and hours and complain that everything hurts. I am pretty sure that is what triggered the heart failure issues as no movement means poor circulation but she just refuses to help herself. I feel guilty for not wanting her home but at 47 years old I feel like my future is slipping away before my very eyes. I do everything for her and watch her meds and conditions like a hawk. At the first signs of dementia after her hip surgery last year I had her evaluated and the meds have nipped the symptoms in the bud but I know at her age it is all down hill from here. I don't want to spend the rest of our lives resenting having to care for her. My husband thinks I over react sometimes but I told him I feel like I am living the life of a 90 year old! It's not my job to make her happy, that will never happen, she is the most negative person I have ever met and I am definitely a glass is half full kind of person. I feel angry and depressed having to take care of her all the time but guilty if I don't!