We've posted before and now long story short since all this COVID 19 started and we have been home with Mom we see the decline and failure to thrive I guess you would call it. She flat out refuses to go to the Drs. office if she has to wear a mask and we have been trying to get an office appt. since April. She has memory issues which seem to have gotten worse since this all started since most she doesn't know what day it is, asks why we are home etc. If we can't get her to the office how can we move forward a this point a virtual appointment wouldn't help because we feel they need to see her in person. We have threatened to call 911 and have them just take her thinking that would convince her to go but no luck. It has reached the point where we are afraid to leave the house without someone being here as could see her not eating, falling etc. It gets frustrating when we try to reason with her and get no where. We tried having someone come to the house to assist but she refuses to answer the door if we would not be home for some reason which we basically did as a test to see what she would do. Both DH and I are headed back to work soon so we need to have some plan of action. TIA
Start there.
Stop making empty threats about calling 911. She has called your bluff.
Stop trying to reason with an unreasonable person. It will drive you crazy and have no impact at all on Mum.
If you have an hired helper, have them arrive before you leave for work and stay until you get home.
It is useless to ..."test to see what she would do." as what happens this week may or may not be happening next week. Next week she could be walking down the street when you are not home.
Some Assisted Livings still taking in patients with 14 day isolation before and after admission. Looks like that is what you are looking at.
ER Dumps are life threatening now, so that won't work for evaluation, but in future may be the only way to get her evaluated. Covid-19 is again on the rise in many regions.
Why do you rule out the telemed visit? The doctor can give an order for home health to come for blood draws and the like.
One benefit of the telemed visit is that you can TELL the doctor that you will be returning to work (you are NOT asking permission, you are informing that this will be the case) and you need to inform her/him that mother is refusing caregivers and may well be a vulnerable adult.
This will trigger a report to APS when you leave so that she will be on their radar.
Do you suspect dementia, or has your mother always been stubborn and unreasonable.?
If she truly wants no intervention, hospice is what she needs.