Mom is 92' has dementia, past seizures, cannot walk because she refused surgery and PT for a fractured kneecap (from osteoporosis). The staff says they do not wash her crusted eyes or get her up to rinse her mouth before breakfast because she gets agitated! So what! everything agitates her. They change her brief and clean her and she gets agitated. She gets agitated when it is time for her seizure meds or pain meds. She is on anti-anxiety meds, is losing weight because she cannot chew but hates puréed food. She sleeps about 18-20 hours a day. Let's face it, she is dying. I asked them to clean her eyes and let her rinse before breakfast ( she only eats 2 tablespoons of cream of wheat). They argue that it is comfort to let her sleep. However, when I am there or some of her usual aides, we just gently wake her,tell her it is time to wipe her eyes and we let her rinse with fresh water and a little mouthwash and she loves it. Hospice says it is part of comfort care not to agitate her. Just let her lay there and rot? I have to be there as much as is humanly possible just to see to her basic needs. Am I being unreasonable? I do not believe in force feeding her, that is not what I am talking about. Just basic cleanliness and dignity! She is still able to drink thickened nectar and seems content with just that, no food. It is so painful watching her be so miserable. I cry myself to sleep at night. No one else visits her, she was not the most pleasant person in her lifetime. My sons and grandchildren won't even visit. Has anyone else had this type of experience?