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I'm going to a Elder Care Lawyer to try and get Medicaid, I don't really want to put my wife in an Assisted Care Home! I would like to find someone to help me out on weekends and at night. I am not in physical shape to do everything she needs. I had breast cancer and just got out of hospital with intestinal surgery and still healing myself. Where do I start?

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I'd see what you find out with your consultation. States vary in what they offer in the form of assistance to those who need AL. Some inhome care may be available, but, I would imagine it would be limited, unless you pay privately and it's not cheap. There are private agencies who will provide inhome care. You could explore that or you could hire an individual that is not with an agency. From what I have read, that is risky, because there are so many things to consider, like insurance if they get hurt working for you, their tax withholding, backup if they are no show, their trustworthiness, since they may not be bonded, etc. I'd also consider what happens if you have relapse and need to enter hospital and she is there alone.....there's so much to consider. I might explore some short term placement, until you are fully healed and know how much you can handle.
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Ask among your friends. Ask at the church.

i had far better help from those sources than from the agencies.
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Delberte, I have used a service called Visiting Angels and have been extremely happy with it. You can use it temporarily until you figure out your best plan. Honestly, one family member was scammed by a private caregiver and I would NOT recommend this route. A service like VA will have subs when your main person is sick or on vacation. They will take care of all the paperwork. In the end, in-home care will become more expensive as you need higher levels of medical help for more hours. Also please read the thousands of posts on caregiver burnout by well-meaning and loving people. You are already challenged with cancer...stress from caregiving often degrades the health of caregivers significantly. You can't afford that. My MIL is in a lovely NH in LTC and is on Medicaid. Other than a shared room, she gets all the same quality of care and amount of attention as everyone else and she likes it. Please go into your decision with both eyes fully open. Peace, blessings and good health to you!
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