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He had a Dr. appointment and did not want me to go!! He went alone, when he got home I asked him how everything went, he told me that his pulse came back and his leg was fine and didn't have to go back for 6 months. REALLY? I have never heard of a pulse coming back, after not having one for about a year. I found out he has been tracking me, recording me, videoing me, etc. Being real hateful, evil, if looks could kill, this is NOT something he would EVER do, he has always been very laid back, quiet, and we talked. He has 3 kids from a prior marriage, they loved me, well.... NOW!!!! They can't stand me, I have basically been thrown out, I have not left as I don't want to leave him in this state of mind, I do not have anyone here in Texas, and we have horses, and dogs to tend to. He is trying to show me that he can do it, but he is out of breath, he is a smoker, can barely walk on that foot, and oh so angry, miserable and just plain ugly to me.. I do not want to go, I do beleive they are amputating, the nurse at the other Dr. office had told me they were at the prior appointment. Now, his kids.... NEVER there!! He has one son, who never even visited him after his double bypass, but now all of a sudden he calls, he lives 4 hours away, the other son, he's ok, but he lives 10 hours away, and the daughter, well, she's never around either, she's all over the place with her work and 2 babies. Thats the only family he has, so, my question is, what are my options here? I do not want to leave him, we promised each other when we got together we would love each other always and forever and dammit, that is what I am going to do!! Please help me!! I need to know what my rights are... Thank You

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BTW--ALL the responses were GOOD ADVICE! As Sunnygirl posted, see or get advice from attorney on TX common law relationships.
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As always GA, your reply was spot on! It covers everything! TexasBonnie, you mention you have no one in Texas. Certainly, I have empathy if this man is veteran, especially of my generation of the Vietnam war. BUT, I am also a survivor of domestic violence and you are mentioning so many red flags, I'm sitting here advising you to 'run Forest, run'! If you have family and friends who are supportive else where -- leave! I stayed with the same conviction of my marriage vows, although I am aware of TX 'common law'. You mentioned "that's the only family he has". That IS pretty much the SAME amount of family WE ALL HAVE! Most of us on here are the sole caretaker or have family that do not help.

It's obvious you LOVE him, and understand you want to 'save him', 'take care of him', etc. This is NOT said without understanding how deeply you want to be there for him. Do you not see the controlling behavior of tracking you, recording you, etc., etc?? This WILL NOT CHANGE! As GA suggested, please look up help in abused women of domestic violence. I am being blunt, as I have PTSD from all the trauma I experienced long ago, but still struggled throughout the years. I stayed too long, trying every way possible to save my marriage. Even AFTER the divorce. "I loved him with all my heart" damn it, just like you! It will NOT change! His family won't change! If you can gather the strength within you to face this, do NOT mention your plans. Pack what you can and LEAVE!
May God keep you safe! I pray you make this decision for YOURSELF!
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You state that you love him - are you aware that his situation will likely only become worse, challenging not only any love but even the ability to tolerate his erratic and unstable behavior? Read some of the posts here about abusive men, especially those written by TaraJane, who's dealt with some of the same issues you're facing.

You mention Agent Orange; does he have cancer?

I'm really not sure what you're looking for, since you want to stay with him. I think only an attorney, or perhaps a counselor for abused women, could tell you what your legal rights are.

I think the more important issue is why you want to stay with someone who's unstable and has a family that's hostile to you. Ask yourself these questions and try to figure out what you really want for you, for the rest of your life.

This battle is only the beginning with him and his family.

BTW, are the guns locked in a gun safe, and does he have a key? If not, you need to seriously consider getting away while you sort it all out, or the possible places you'll be going are to a hospital or a morgue.

I'm being deliberately blunt because this is a very volatile situation but I'm not sure you're able to see all the dangers while you're still in it.
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Be careful to stay safe and consult with a Family Law attorney in your state. They can provide you information about your rights and obligations.
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I think it might be time to take a trip and let the kids see what is happening for themselves. This is dementia/mental illness and unless he'll see a doctor and get treatment, you are not safe there with him and the guns.
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We are common law married, introduce ourselves as husband and wife. I am looking for options, where as he wants me to go, he is telling people lies about me, that I a,m not home, I don't feed him, he told his kids stories, so that is why they now do not care for me. I am just very confused at this point, his kids are involved in the all the recording. Just a very strange, bizarre situation. And yes, we have an arsenal of guns in the house.

Should I go? Should I stay? I do love him, very much, I hate to see this happening.
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Are you married?

Initially, reading this post, I thought you were trying to figure out how to get him to accept help. Is that what you want? Legally, even if you are his wife, if he hasn't been declared incompetent, he's allowed to abuse his body any way he wants to.

Why are his kids mad at you?

Has he gotten any help, from the VA or anyplace else, with his mental health issues? Does he have firearms? If he's becoming increasingly paranoid, I would want you to be aware that you may be in physical danger.

You might consider taking a long trip to visit a friend or family, and letting his kids know that you won't be there to care for him for a bit. Perhaps if they see what's going on for themselves, they'll be able to convince him to get some health.
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