My father in-law was diagnosed a couple yrs ago with dementia which happened after he had a brain aneurysm in 2013. He recovered well from the aneurysm but as time went by things started to change. He would lose his way while driving around in a town he grew up in. Then he would end up doing things completely out of character. As time would go by it was becoming evident something else was wrong.
One day he took off in his truck around 3pm and became lost. We located him six hours later. We found out he took off driving down a highway and ended up several counties away from us. Thankfully the sheriff department had him in Newton county after he walked into somebody elses house and set off the alarm. The people who lived there were gone on vacation so their alarm notified the sheriff.
Fast forward to 2019. He can no longer drive since the last time he drove anywhere he ran through a round about and totaled his car. He was still living at home with his wife. However, unfortunately, she didn't want to deal with him so she got him in the car and dropped him off at one of her daughters (my sister in-law) apartment. This apartment didn't have very good living conditions. No furniture and he slept on the floor.
Come Thanksgiving of 2019, everyone comes to our house for dinner. He is here also. Me and my wife find out that he had been sleeping on the floor and not eating like he should. We told him he was going to stay with us for now so he could be taken care of and fed better with a nice bed to sleep in.
My mother in-law won't have anything to do with him. Me and my wife had made an appointment with an elder law attorney and my mother in-law was involved in this appointment. We told my mother in-law that what we were doing was to get everything set in place so that she would be protected by any financial issues once we see about applying for a Medicaid waiver for my father in-law. We thought everything was okay until one day this elder law lawyer told me and my wife they could no longer discuss anything with us at the request of my mother in-law. Client confidentiality.
It has been since Thanksgiving of 2019 that my father in-law has been with us. We feel our hands are tied with no avenues to pursue. We care about him but my wife and I both work and can't always be around to keep an eye on him. We know he is starting to get into things around the house plus now he is starting to wander outside the house. We are gambling with him everyday we are not here and he is alone.
He does have the Lewy body dementia which we have heard is the more worse kind. My mother in-law says she is working with the lawyer to get things in place for him when it's time for nursing care but we think she may just be saying that and not doing anything since he is with us. In other words, not worried about it, out of mind out of sight.
Since my mother in-law is still alive, my wife cannot become his POA. And we need to be a POA in order to get his medicare waiver applied for.
We are basically stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Can anyone tell me if we have any sort of rights here? We need to be able to get him into a facility for mental care but right now we have no legal right to make those decisions.
Any suggestions of what you would do in our place would be greatly appreciated.