She also doesn't trust anyone, she watches Investigative Discovery all day. I don't know what to do I live with her and help with what I can, I don't have a job as I'm new to AZ and no one's calling so I never get a break away from her tormenting. She's threatened to call ASS on me as she lies that I treat her badly and I am just sticking up for myself. She lies constantly and has no rational or logic left. She can barely cook, walk, or do her ADLS by herself yet she refuses help. I feel I have to be here just to do her trash look after her and basically wait till she passes but its a major threat to my health and self but I feel I have no choice. My brother can do her grocery shopping as she's always been a recluse and has had everyone do most things for her cause she doesn't leave accept occasional Dr apts which she usually cancels due to her anxiety. I have my own issues I've put on the back burner til I can figure something out. She's 85 and needs anxiety medication but I can't make her do anything she's the most stubborn mean elderly person I've ever been around and hard to love after all she's put me and my family through. She always thinks she's right, her mind is corrupted from watching Investigation Discovery all day and she thinks people want to take advantage of her for her money when she doesn't even have. It's just far more than I can deal as I don't have a car to go places for help and I just don't know what I can do my other sisters have given up on her and told me to just let her go. She's constantly telling me negative things and calling me names and things that aren't true.
You can't save a person from herself. If your mother does not want help & treats you like garbage, you can't save her either. She's 'gotta wanna'.............she must want to accept your help, the doctor's help, help from care givers, medications, etc. Whatever is required to get her to a good baseline, that is what she must want for HERSELF in order for anyone to help her, you know? You can't force her to want better for herself.........if she's happy with things the way they are, you won't be able to fix anything.
You may have to move back to where you came from if things don't work out where you are now. Tell your mother to let you know if and when she'd like help, and you'll let her know if you're available.
I'm sorry you're going through all of this nonsense, it's really all too much. Best of luck!
Make connections and get a job and place.
Say "I got a job. You need to find someone else to help"
Does she have a primary care physician that you can communicate with?
If she becomes threatening, I think you need to call whatever emergency number (here in the US it's 911, I think in the UK it's 999) to get immediate help.
You need brother to get on the same page. This is not "normal" aging.