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A friend who is in his 50s is the only caregiver for his 75 year old mother who lives alone. But she can no longer care for herself and will not even discuss live in help, daily help, assisted living facility. My friend needs to talk with a human counselor to help him come up with a solution before his mother hurts herself.

There are social workers who can discuss options. We used one with a local agency (recommended by a highly respected AL place). They are often paid for by the assisted living places, so it is no charge.

Also my BIL and his family paid paid somebody to work with them to figure out options. They felt they didn't learn anything new, but they are a family with multiple kids who had the time to do the research. If you can't find one by asking around try an online search for "elder care consultation" or "geriatric consultation".
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Reply to chdottir
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What are your friend's mother's main care needs?

The local Area Agency on Aging or equivalent, which you can find through Google, is a good source of information and advice.

He should also read Being Mortal, Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande. This is a very readable but thought-provoking and authoritative work which has helped many people reset their perspective on their elders' choices.

Do you think your friend's fears for his mother's safety are well-founded, or is it more that she expects too much of him?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 15, 2019
Great idea!

When I contacted them for help. They came out. Approved my mom for help with sending an helper to bathe her. Unfortunately, so many seniors in my area (people are living longer) that they basically said we would have to wait until someone moved or died. Still waiting with no help. Hope others have better outcome and get help.

They also will will provide transportation to and from doctors.
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I care for my 93 year old mom and as you know and care, it’s a tough job, otherwise you wouldn’t be inquiring for him. You’re a good friend. Thanks for caring.

On The Today Show this morning they read a statement from actor, Rob Lowe, saying, “Hug a caregiver today and give them a call on the phone.” He is trying to bring attention to how hard it is to be a caregiver, very stressful. Rob and his brother took care of their mom when she was suffering with breast cancer. So he’s walked the walk and has compassion. I admire him for bringing this to light so others will realize that it’s a team effort.

Can he speak to his mother’s doctor? Hippa laws will prevent him unless she gave permission for him to discuss her health. If he can get the doctor in on it to help her come to a decision it may help.
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