Follow
Share

my question is how do I know when she tells me things that I havent witnessed, if she is telling the truth or not. She is 86 and the only time I ever heard her swear was once. Now her filter is gone, shes repeating herself during a visit dozens of times. I am not close to my sister but we stay in touch concerning Mom, advising each other on what has happened during our time with her. I'm ready to pull my hair out but hate that she is in there with noone but the staff. I always leave her room crying. I need information because I think the road ahead is going to get rougher.thanks, christie

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Your mother is confabulating, or making up stories in her mind due to dementia. You'll never know the truth unless she's telling you absurd things like the staff is taking her out to fancy dinners and entertainment shows nightly, like my mother used to tell me. You have to fact check questionable things she tells you.....follow up with staff and or admin to make sure you can sort the truth from the stories.

I suggest you learn what you can about dementia and how to deal with your mother to the best of your ability. Understanding the Dementia Experience by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller is an excellent and easy to read book you can pick up on Amazon, or download a big portion of online. All you can hope for is mom is kept comfortable and anxiety/agitation free now, that's the main goal. Ativan helped my mother a great deal in that area. They're easily worked up and that's not a good thing with dementia. Terrible disease for all of us.

Best of luck.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Your moms brain is now permanently broken and yes she will only continue to get worse.
At this point you won't ever be able to know whether she is telling the truth or not, but to her it will be her truth and that is all that really matters now.
All you can do is try and better educate yourself more about this horrific disease of dementia, so that you will be better prepared for what lies ahead.
I always recommend the book The 36 Hour Day, and Teepa Snow(a dementia expert)who has lots of videos on YouTube along with many books that she's written as well.
Dementia sucks and I'm sorry that you are yet one more person that is having to deal with a loved one with it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If she has dementia then you can never know if she is telling you the truth or not. Nor can she. That's the nature of the disease.

This is very sad, but you didn't cause it, you can fix it, and no one else can fix it either. Peace comes only with her death, and when she is gone I hope you will be able to have some knowledge of relief as well as grief that she is gone. You are standing witness to a mind under seige, a mind she cannot control nor trust, a mind that YOU cannot control nor trust.

This is the sadness of this disease. It is horrible to stand witness to these losses of our loved ones. I am so very sorry. Allow yourself grief, but comfort yourself that you are doing the best that can be done with something that has no answer.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter