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My dad has been diagnose with dementia and has a really week heart. A heart fraction of 15%. Doctors have said he is in the end stages of heart disease. He has been on the decline since December 2017. He kicked my mom out of the house and they have since gotten a divorce. He only has social security and as soon as he gets his check he spends it - paying no bills. He has a spending problem. He doesn't take his pills correctly and goes to the hospital once a week to get drained. He gets around 5 liters of fluid off his stomach each week. He is very stubborn and won't go into an assisted living program. He is currently living in a trailer that he bough once my parents sold the house. He doesn't have water or electric hooked up. He often asks for money and I used to give him money to help him with gas and food, but I have currently stopped that and he now refuses to talk to me. He has been really mean and it's not my dad anymore. From here I don't want to take guardianship, but I know the state will. I wonder if anyone has had this kind of experience. Thanks

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Call the health department and tell them an elderly person with Dementia is living without electricity and water. Not having water is a health problem. How does he wash and flush a toilet. The health dept can get him out of the trailer. I just had this happen to a friend. Do not take guardianship. Allow the state to take over.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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shad250 Sep 21, 2018
Slop bucket. There was an episode of "Live PD" where an older guy had one. He even showed the policeman when they were dispatched to a trailer he was living at.
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Can you call the police to do a welfare check? Explain that you are concerned that your dad is living without running water and electricity and is a danger to himself due to non-compliance with meds and end stage disease, but that you are unable to care for him. Tell them you are worried and want to get him somewhere safe.
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Reply to FrazzledMama
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Has anyone in authority been informed that he is a vulnerable elder without supports? You might want to contact APS and his doctor to get the ball rolling.
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Reply to cwillie
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If you feel he is a danger to himself, a possibility is calling 911 and telling them he is a danger to himself. The cops can Baker Act him. The system may indeed Baker Act him and hospitalize him for a psychiatric evaluation. In Florida a Baker Act is good for 72 hours, but if they are hospitalized for a medical condition it does not go into effect until they are put in the psychiatric ward. A psychiatrist will evaluate him for competency. IF he is ruled mentally incompetent the psychiatric center will have a visiting Justice come over and establish legal guardianship. This person can be a close family member OR a Court Appointed legal guardian. If he is incompetant he may end up in a nursing home since he cannot manage his own life.
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Reply to cetude
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A call to the Health Department or Building and Zoning might work. But they work slowly.
A call to Adult Protective services might also work but if he does not allow them in they can not do anything.
I am very surprised the Hospital has not said or done anything. If he returns to the same hospital every time they should have noticed something. Without water I can not imagine that he is washing laundry often nor would he be bathing often. Can you contact the hospital and talk to a Social Worker? Or are you contacted when he goes to the hospital? If so ask to talk to a Social Worker at that time. Due to the privacy laws THEY can not tell YOU anything but you can certainly inform them of what you know. (Unless you are listed on the forms that you Dad signs that they can discuss findings with you.)
Unfortunately in many cases nothing can be done until a "catastrophic event" occurs. But we should do what we can to prevent one.
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helpingson Sep 23, 2018
Very true. My mom requests privacy. Hospitals contact me every time she visits. One hospital system will discuss a limited amount of her medical condition, while other systems keep me in the dark. Developing “off line” relationships with case managers and staff has been helpful.
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Call your local adult protective services.
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Reply to minstrel
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Oh *dear*. I'm very sorry to read of your family's situation, it sounds horrendously stressful.

Hadn't you better contact your local social services and get their advice? I don't for a moment disagree with your decision to stop funding your father's precarious situation, I can't see what else you could have done: I'm sure you were correct that you were merely supporting his ability to reject help that he badly needs.

But it is just such a pity that your parents' marriage came to this and that his behavioural problems weren't flagged and addressed by his medical team long before. I feel for all of you especially because my own mother was diagnosed with CHF in the mid-'90s, and I swear nobody but nobody even mentioned vascular dementia until 2012 - even though it's medically well recognised as a very common result of long term heart disease. When I think how much better I could have coped if I'd had been given just a little heads-up much earlier on, it makes me want to spit.

But never mind the "if onlys". I hope you'll be able to get good, practical guidance from your local services - ideally from people who don't hope they can bully you into doing their work for them.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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I don't know how to advise you - I guess he wouldn't let APS in the door so they left the literature, and since they couldn't evaluate how he was doing the case was dropped (or put on hold), you could try calling to inquire. It was unfortunate that he was allowed to come home after being in the hospital, that was the time to make it clear that he had no one to look after him and they needed to find a placement. If APS won't help you may need to wait for another hospitalization and you can then refuse to bring him home.
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From reading the excellent answers here, it seems the quickest way to get things moving is to call the Health Department. Tell them he has dementia and is living with no running water or electricity. I believe they won’t take “no” for an answer. Just remember to stand your ground when they want you to take over. Best of luck, dear. Stay strong.
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Erinbrockavich Sep 21, 2018
This situation came in to our lives about 3 year ago. It's a nightmare. My MIL's private doc. Was of no help. His words exactly to us were I CAN GET MY ELDERLY TO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING. She is in the later stages of dementia. Lock down unit at the NF. We had to endure so much just to get her evaluated.2 am emergency to the geriatric unit that was 2hr. Away because no one would accept her. It's horrible. I suggest staying away. Stay out of it.
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Yes. After my dad got out of a psychiatric hospital (they are the ones who diagnosed him with dementia) he allowed a in-home nurse to come in once. She called APS, but the only thing they did was place a old brochure/copy of a copy on the front door and asked him to call. Of course he did not want to call. Should I call APS? The only problem is I am not quite sure where he is. I can give them another address, but not sure he will be there. I feel like APS doesn't have the resources to help. What can his doctor do? Thanks
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