Follow
Share

My Mom has dementia. When I visit her, she is ready for me to leave after 7 or 8 minutes. Is this normal? Why?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Bookworm, sorry to say that I can't add anything particularly enlightening to the comments you've already received. But I am just curious....before the Alz/dementia dx was your Mom an outgoing, social person who enjoyed the company of others? Or, was she someone who preferred to be solitary.....not necessarily unsociable but maybe just as happy in her own company? I only ask because my Mom (94 w/moderate dementia, still knows her family and friends) is still sweet, smiling, friendly and sociable BUT she has always been that way. Her short-term memory is shot. She will never remember anything discussed during a visit but will remember "we laughed a lot and had a great time".....confirmed in fact by phone calls and emails saying, "your Mom still has a great sense of humor.". This makes me very happy and I know, so far, I have been blessed. Also, I have to say, in my Mom's case (and I don't mean to generalize because previous posters are right: DementiaWorld is a very individualized experience, apparently) but my Mom's sense of time (time of day, time of year, time passing) was one of the first things I observed her losing sense of......over 2 years ago, she would tell me, 1 hour after lunch, which I ate w/her, that she was "starving" and hadn't eaten all day.....so, personally, I find it entirely credible that some of what you may be experiencing, is that total loss of any accurate perception of the passage of time. Sorry that you are also on this confusing journey but wish you the best!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

bookworm, as Sunnygirl had mentioned above, dementia is a mystery... no one knows why a person thinks or feels the way they do. You just have to go with the flow, that I what I do with my Mom.

If my Mom is zoned out half awake in her room and she doesn't respond to me, I stay just long enough to hang up her freshly washed clothes and gather dirty clothes. If my Mom is out in the common area and she knows who I am, I will stay longer.

My Mom is in her late 90's, and today she asked me to take her to see her Mom. Other times she will ask to see her sisters [all of whom had passed on]. I usually tell her "we will do that tomorrow" and she's fine with that answer.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I do hospice volunteer work and most of my patients have some level of dementia. I find that some people are quite comfortable with their own company, happy with their thoughts while others enjoy the company and long visits. I has one sweet lady who would tolerate my visits for about 10 minutes and then would say, "Well, I'm needed over there now!" That was my cue to get lost.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Doe anyone have any experience with people who are growing older with Cerebral Palsy?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Dementia is a mystery in many ways. It sometimes makes people behave in unusual ways. I don't think we can know the reason. I just accept it.

She may get tired after a short visit. She may have trouble concentrating. She may forget that you've only been there for a few minutes. Her mind may tell her it's been an hour or more.

I now anticipate that with my loved one when I visit her her in memory care. I let her take the lead. Even though she loves to see me, I have had her roll her wheelchair out into the hallway as if I'm not there. She just can't absorb certain things. I just let her take her time. I might wait and approach her a few minutes later. At times, I think he forgets that I'm sitting there. She is so easily distracted.

Don't take it personally. Just limit the visit. Perhaps, leave and come back in 5 minutes and see if she is up for another short visit. To me it's the quality of time, not the duration that's important. I realize that eventually, she is likely to not even recognize who I am when I enter the room.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.