Should be tell Mom she is being moved to the memory care wing before the move, or just move her things while she is at an activity?The staff at Mom's Assisted Living facility has decided that she should be moved to the secure memory care wing. She does not wander, but spends a lot of time sitting in the public area near the nurses' desk "people watching". Their reason for the move is that she will have a smaller "community" in which to participate in activities and meals. The downside is that she will be moving from an apartment with a separate living/kitchenette area and bedroom to just a room which is smaller than her current bedroom. She will need to give up more than half of her furniture.
The staff does not want to discuss this move with her in advance, and does not want us to mention it to her. Their plan is to take her to an activity, move her things and then take her to the new room after the activity. Mom has never liked surprises, and I expect that she will be angry about this fourth "downsizing". I am concerned that she will feel even more isolated in the smaller environment. Last month we had to remove her phone because she was making repeated phone calls to me, my daughter and her elderly sister, and she remembers that she had a phone and wonders where it is and when she will get it back. I am concerned that she will wonder where her furniture went and why she can't go back to her apartment. Of course, on the other hand, she is unlikely to remember that we discussed the move with her, so maybe the staff is right. Has anyone gone through something like this? Any advice?