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As Mom moves into advanced/late stages of vascular dementia we are noticing a new downturn, too many changes in behavior to enumerate here. I've been re-reading past posts about daytime sleeping and nighttime wakefulness and have gleaned lots of helpful tips about dealing with this. My question is about when to relax her "schedule." I retired 2 years ago to give her full-time care in our home. She's been with us for 9 years, had a part-time home aid for 5 years, and now me full time. I've been rousing her around 8:15 in the mornings and she voluntarily retires by 8 pm, although she doesn't actually get to sleep until 9-9:30. Up until recently she's done pretty well at night, but that's changing and she's more restless at night and dozes more in her chair in the day. While we're working on that part, I'm wondering about adjusting her "schedule" to sleeping later in the morning so that she is more awake during the day? Anyone had success with this? I so appreciate those who are farther down the path and your helpful insights and experiences.


As a side note, hubs is still doing "pickup" work odd-jobbing off and on, so we have an early-morning schedule ourselves. I am trying to protect our rest as well, as we navigate the landmines!

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My 98 year old mother follows a strict schedule. Wakes up at 9am, meds, breakfast and bath. Up in chair, exercise, commode every two hours, meals on schedule. Occasionally a short nap in the afternoon, I set the timer. most nights she sleeps sound, unless she has a UTI starting, then she receives antibiotic treatment. I try not to give her too much fluids at night or food before bed. She is 98 years old, and if I find her tired during the day and dozing, I certainly will put her back to bed for a short nap. This works very well for my mother. We also take her for a walk most days around the block in her w/c. We sit under a shaded tree for a few hours in the afternoon during the warm summer days. Fresh air and sunshine always a good choice.
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pcgirl56 Jun 2020
Wow! She's an inspiration! I'm so impressed that at 98 she does so well. Congratulations to you for your obviously excellent care and for picking your gene pool so well! Seriously, that's awesome. I think taking our cues from our loved ones and allowing them to continue to lead us is a good course of action. Thanks for your response!
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My mom had a nap after breakfast (basically she went back to bed until noon) and that worked well for us - getting up in the morning helped with her medications schedule and allowed her to use the toilet and get cleaned up, and it was an opportunity to have something to eat and drink that ensured she was getting enough daily. It was also good for me as she tended to sleep deeply in the morning so it allowed me time to myself.
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pcgirl56 Jun 2020
Great ideas. Yes, I don't want her to sleep so late that it gets her COPD inhalers off schedule, but all she takes in morning is vitamins. I do think having more self-time will be a good thing!
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I wouldn't let her doze during the day if she is then awake all night.

My dad got his days and nights completely reversed and it was horrible. Nudging him and talking to him helped keep him awake. I did let him sleep until he woke or 10:30am whichever came 1st.
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pcgirl56 Jun 2020
Yes, I am trying to keep her from getting days and nights mixed up. Until summer heat becomes too oppressive, we go walkabout on the porch, puttering in the flowers and plants. I hope the sunshine and movement will ease sundowning symptoms and reset her internal clock. And yes, morning nudging, usually verbal comments or conversation!
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