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He doesn't always tell us when he falls and he'll have a black eye and lie about how he got it. He's ending up in the ER several times and at it's most severe injured his rotator cuff when continues to cause him pain. I'm at a point where I wonder how many times is too many?

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Realize that he isn't going to stop falling because he goes to Assisted Living. But there can be many improvements which may contribute to fewer falls. Consistenly good nutrition and taking his pills correctly are two such improvements. Also, if he does fall, that will be dealt with promptly. So I agree that moving him in that direction is a very good thing. I just want to urge you to be realistic. It isn't a cure-all.
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dpburger1968, your Dad sounds like my Dad to the T! I'm wondering why your Dad is driving under so many meds but I know that its another life changer to stop him from driving, you'll need to have a plan to get him to his appointments, grocery shopping etc. Your Bro was proactive in moving your Dad to a Senior living community, is it possible to have help come into his home to run errands, cook, shop, clean etc? You move in or he move in with you?? if not, then sounds like another proactive move is in order. Your Dad, is likely thinking that he can continue to manage his life or is afraid to admit he needs help. That's where you adult Children come in and say Dad, we love you and we are doing this for your own good and so that we don't worry about you getting hurt anymore.
My Mom call me their chil, I'm 52. I say no, I am your adult daughter. It's one thing to say our babies will always be our baby but when it is used to control or manipulate thats when we mature minded adults respectfully say, I love you but I am not a child and will not be treated that way.
I must be talking to myself because this is exactly what I've been struggling with for 3 years but I feel a sence of empowerment because I no longer struggle with making difficult decissions for my Parents...as much as I once did. Their total care was just droped in my lap. Now I do what I have to do thru careful consideration, research and prayer then I proceed because all I want for them is the best care and help to allow US to live worry free.

Have a Family meeting, talk to your Dad about your concerns, take him to a few nice Assisted Living Places to tour, dine some will allow a respite visit for him to stay over a weekend or week, at a cost of course. If he is like my Dad and still brushes it aside, its time to act in his behalf for him and you.
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Thank you for the support sumlerc. He recently got a walker and when he walks with it he's like a new man. He fell two days ago in the parking lot of his building getting out of his car so an assistive device wasn't even in play yet and he ended up in the ER. There are so many factors involved that contribute to his falling, depression, syncope, A LOT of prescriptions, high blood pressure, horrible nutrition and lack of exercise. He'll be 85 this month and I will always be a child in his eyes plus he is extremely stubborn and unwillingly to confront the tough issues and decisions. The only reason he is in a senior apartment is my older brother didn't give him a choice. After he fell on the street and cut himself up last fall my brother just moved him. I have been suggesting to my dad for the last 5 years that he should think about moving but he just brushed it aside. The worst factor is that he just doesn't seem to care about his own well-being. He can't even remember the instructions he is given, what he takes meds for, what his doctor appointments were for, on and on. I've mentioned the falls several times to his doctor(s) and they don't show much concern. He is a patient at the VA and he is not at all proactive about his care. His last appointment I went through every medication he's on with the dr. and the doctor didn't see any issue with anything he is taking. Unfortunately I have given up as well. but I'm his daughter and I can't stop being concerned.
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Sounds like he's already had too many falls. Problem is the next fall could be the worse ever! It's like knowing it's time to stop driving but waiting until its too late.

Does your Dad have assistive devices, wheelchair, walker etc. My Dad claimed not to need a walker but could hardly hold himself up. Enough! Thru Medicare we got a walker for him and he LOVED it. After a few years the walker wasn't enough, he balked once again and we (Mom and I) said ENOUGH! and thru Medicare we got him a pretty dandy wheelchair and he LOVED it.

Perhaps getting your Dad's Dr. involved will help. I wish you both better.
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