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Not sure if the heat/weather is making my depression worse, but just woke up in tears this morning. I think over lots of things, not one thing in particular. I was released from a job I enjoyed for 11 years due to a medical issue, Mom had a stroke the year following, so I was and have been able to help with her. I miss work now and the socializing. My husband said there may be an opening when she works, just in a different part of the company, but it doesn’t require any added education beyond what I have. Sounds good, but then I would be working 5 days a week and even less to make sure mom is taken care of where she’s living. She is stable, and I realize so many families have to go back to work right after something like this happening to a family member, so I am very thankful for this three years. It’s getting to me though. I’m 46 and worries I will spend my time like this and wish I had been working later when I look back. Not 100% sure how I would feel also working with people my husband works with off and on. He’s a different type of “nerd” than I am, so I worry I would be like a third wheel with so many like him. Am I over thinking or should I pick a friend to make some decisions for me? LOL I feel like my head is full of cotton and have lost the ability to make decisions clearly since my world has been so small for so long.

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I think you should give the potential job a chance. I think I disagree with a previous poster who discouraged working with your hubby. In this particular case, if your DH is a supportive kind of guy and you’re just trying to get your feet wet again, I think it might be a measure of comfort to have him around at work. Even if you don’t see him during the day for lunch or breaks, you still could “shop talk” a little at home which might be helpful for you. This might be a very good opportunity to ease your way back into the workforce.
I do agree about backing off a little in your visits if she’s stable, as a test to see how both you and she fare. Is she cognizant enough to understand you getting a job and your visiting hours might change? Is it something you could talk to her about? Would she be happy for you or mad?
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Reply to rocketjcat
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I agree that you should go back to work. Jumping back into the work world after a prolonged absence is going to feel like going back to work after a vacation times 1000, everything will require extra effort. I think a good way to ease yourself back in is to take the job at hand, even if it is not something you can remain at long term it is a good stepping stone.
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Reply to cwillie
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C is right, but before I went back to work, I think I might visit my physician first for a check-up. You will not be at your best, if you take this job, and you are pulling the heavy chains of depression along behind you.

I agree that at age 46, you need to be gainfully employed. You have 20 years to contribute to a retirement fund. If you have the education and qualifications necessary for this job, go for it!

The only caveat is if you are responsible for Mom’s care. You dont say where she is living, but if she is in a facility, you are not responsible for her care. You keep tabs on her, but you don’t “take care” of her. You check in with the staff to make sure she is alright, visit when it’s convenient, but you don’t stress yourself out supervising her care.

Good luck. Come back and let us know how you are.
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Sendhelp Jul 22, 2018
Agree with you Ahmijoy, a good answer!
I would like to add that R.Smith would be so much better off working to preserve sanity. Seeing a doctor for a check-up, and going to a support group.
Hiring a caregiver part time, or even on-call might alleviate some worry ?
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She is in assisted living. My grandpa was able to keep an older apartment /motel complex open that just pays for her rent there. I have a friend that swaps days with me to exercise mom or just hang out. Standing back, it sounds like it’s all set up perfect for me to go. I think it’s just me letting go a bit more and trusting I’m doing all I can whether I’m working or not.
I get a very small income from the last job since I was let go with medical, not the amount needed to pay my bills by no means, so a job would make a huge difference there.
Yes, my sanity feels like it’s gone to the dogs a good while back. I feel very much out of the loop with the rest of the world.
Of course, the guilt of not being available at any given possible emergency will likely always be there, but I’m wondering if I have hit that pony that I need to pick up my pieces now.
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Reply to RSmith1232
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Sendhelp Jul 22, 2018
You could try working from home if you know computers. However, if your world has become smaller and the need is to socialize, either a job or a highly motivated social schedule away from home could work. Could you volunteer? Volunteering can lead to networking into a job.

Is your small income received for a medical issue stopping you? I recommend bravely plowing ahead with all your might. My dH is just about to work his way off of disability, (requires job coaching). It is scary to work so hard then lose 1/2 your income when "they say" you are no longer disabled. Do it anyway.
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Myself, I would avoid working at the same company as my husband. We also do not go to the same doctors for a reason. So, you are correct to consider these important factors. Then, take action.
You are just maybe stuck, so get up out of bed and buy an outfit for the interview.
Next day, get your hair done early, by appointment, about the time you would be working.
Then, go out for coffee every morning at the times you want to be working.
Practice smiling all during the above exercises.

Take your computer with you.

Check back in after you have done them.
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Sendhelp Jul 22, 2018
Note to self: Just testing out the new reply feature on the new AC website.
1) Can we really now "reply" to ourselves?
2) This feature can be used to addendum a post after the "edit" feature has expired.
3) Amazing!
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I think that you need to go back to work for your own sanity and future retirement as someone only 46.

Where is your mom living? Does she have the financial means to hire help?
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Reply to cmagnum
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