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In the almost 2 years since my mother died every single time I call my dad and tell him im coming over or im going to the store he asks for something ,, then he asks for things after I already bring him things. Yesterday when I asked if he wanted me to bring something he said "no". that's a first .. and he seems to have quit eating much at all. Even his orange juice or milk he doesn't seem to care about. Im beginning to think this is coming to a swift end. The nurse that saw him on Tuesday night mentioned Hospice in passing ie. "Well they wont call in hospice unless he loses significant weight but hes the kind of guy that's going to find food anyway he can". I thought that was an odd statement. Is he saying that because of the cost? because hospice care is covered and this private in home care is out of pocket? was he saying it because he doesn't think my dad has much time? We were talking about costs of care givers so maybe it was the expense issue. Im not sure, wish I had been able to put it together at the time and ask why he mentioned hospice. but all in all, i'm watching my dad shut out the world,, basically just shut down period.

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It's good that he has help for 6 hours a day,, but, if he isn't able to act on his own behalf, then, he may not be able to summon help if he falls, get out of the house in case of fire, clean himself if he has an accident, etc. I'd stay with him around the clock for 48 hours to see just how much he can't do. He must be very scared when he is alone. Then, you'll have input that is needed to have an assessment to determine what level of care he needs. Does he have a plan for his continued care?
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Thank you ,, this morning when I called he said he was "Dehydrated" ,, I said why ? he said he didn't have any water ,, I said "go get some" He said he couldn't stand up ,, and his words were slurred,, of course this sent me straight into a panic,, I called the nurse frantically and thought he should be hospitalized ,, he said "Just Breathe" I said ok ,, he was there within an hour ,, got my dad some orange juice and some selzer water ,, he said "his walker was right in front of him ,, but his desire wasn't stong enough to get up and go get the water himself (again going back to crying to the daughter to help him) This is whats blowing my mind ,, the rapid change ,, the crying out for help and I think hes dying and its freaking me out ... so Glad caregivers will be there every day for 6 hours ,,, otherwise I would blow a gasket. Yes I think if he cant just see the food ,, he wont eat the food ,, Nurse said just grab and go items for him in the fridge ,, so I got some sandwichs and some other things he can just pick up and eat ... I have to try to learn how they think or don't think to learn how to react to whats going on ,, cuz I sure get sent spinning into a panic ..
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Oh, I see. Yes, it is a rude awakening when we realize just how affected our LO is. I recall that with my LO, I kept putting delicious food in her fridge, but, she never touched it. She said there was no food to eat! WHAT? If it wasn't sitting there in front of her, she had no idea that it existed. I had to wrap it in plastic, so she could see it. Later, she forgot that there was food behind the fridge door if it was closed.

At a certain point, it's risky to leave them alone at all, especially, with electric appliances. It sound like your dad has supervision. That's good. (They often will also lose the ability to use a remote control, phone, thermostat control, etc.

I'd also read about how things may likely progress. Eventually, most people who have dementia will develop problems with walking, talking, toileting themselves, chewing and swallowing. Not all, but, many will develop these issues.

I'm so sorry it's happening to your dad. You are doing the right thing by getting support from others though. Knowledge is power and it can help you and your dad.
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thank you sunnygirl ,, you explained it perfectly. The nurse that came by said that he believes he wants to eat but has lost the mechanics on how to make that happen. Just in the last few weeks its like he has forgotten how to heat up something in the microwave even if I describe it for him. My brother found the coffee pot in the sink because he couldn't remember how to use it. This man was a chef and cooking and food were his life. forgetting that is MAJOR. It seems like I made some minor changes in his environment and it all came crashing down,, like throwing away something I thought was trash was something he used to mix orange juice in ,, and now he's forgotten how to do it,, little tiny environmental changes have had major impacts on his ability to preform tasks.. She did put food in front of him and he ate the hot dog so it would appear if its now prepared for him and placed in front of him he will consume it. thank your for your insight. I feel like Alice down the rabbit hole I've entered a world that's so foreign.
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I'm not sure that I understand all of your questions, but, I would discuss your dad's recent disinterest in food with his doctor. Your profile says that he has dementia. Most dementia payments eventually, either lose interest in food or become unable to eat due to their inability to chew or swallow. Has he had a swallowing assessment?

With people who have dementia, they may forget from hour to hour what food or beverages they have in the fridge or what they have consumed. Usually, their caretaker puts the food and beverage in front of them and it's then that they remember food. They often don't realize that there is food behind closed doors of cupboards or underneath a covered bowl.

His doctor should be able to answer your questions about Hospice. As well as eating issues. Sometimes, the person is nearing the end of life and even if they do eat, their body is not able to process the nutrients. Perhaps, others here can explain better than I can.
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