Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Okay. 90 years old lives in managed care facility,her own apartment, my wife is her only child. We see her every day. Daughter is main helper. Mom is semi ambulatory, walker etc . can get around her apartment by herself. Her health is good with no major issues.
Can't seem to find anything that makes her want to get up and move. ???
Any suggestions would be appreciated
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Don't know what you mean by"not wanting to do anything" If it is going out to socialize, as an elder myself I can totally understand. As you age you become fatigued and some things go by the wayside and others have to wait for a good day. For example if it's Tuesday and senior discount at the beauty shop and I need a hair cut I may just want to stay home in my PJs. However on Wed after I have rested I may feel re-energized and be up early and first in line at the local "quick cuts" so I don't have to wait and have time and energy left to go run other errands. However after an hour I mayrun out of stem and run for home. It is important to try and understand that elders work in different ways and mostly understand their limitations. So like everyone else they need to be given options and the means to carry them out and then pace themselves. Another example you know grandma is very proud of the grandkids but you don't understand why she won't go to their concert. I can tell you why. the seats in the auditorium are too hard and when it's over and everyone wants to rush out granny is too stiff and unbalanced to walk back up the steps. She looks normal and moves around fine at home and too proud to ask for an arm to walk back to the car. Try and think ahead about why people won't do things. I take a cushion when we go out to eat in a restraunt. My boney backside just can't tolerate 3 hours on a hard dining chair. I am finally getting hubby trained not to walk ahead of me especially on uneven ground but to offer me his arm. I must add that I must give off vibes that I would welcome help because people often go out of their way to lend a hand. Now if i could just get hubby to cook!!!!!!!!!!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

tagger, need more information. Who are "they"? Are they your parents who don't want to do anything? Or are they your siblings who don't want to do anything to help out with the care?

If it is your parents, what are the medical issues... do they live in their own home on their own... do they live with you or someone else?

If it is your siblings, what are their excuses... do they live nearby or hundreds of miles away?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

In my experience, relationships and other dynamics of a persons life change as he/she ages. I have had many conversations with caregivers about Mom isn't mom anymore or I don't know how to engage my husband anymore. I suspect in your case, the relationship you once had is different than what it has become. Your old tricks aren't working anymore and your finding yourself spinning your wheels as you try to inspire the individual to find meaning. I am making a lot of assumptions because I don't have the details, but I am going off of what I most often see. In any case, it is best to bring in someone from the outside to meet your loved one and do a casual assessment. Often you will find Senior Service Providers who have case managers to work with families. This is typically a service funded by grants so it should be free. The case manager provides an unbiased, fresh prospective on the situation and will have assessment tools to help them identify the needs of your loved one. After the assessment you will be able to work with the case manager on how to implement strategies to increase socialization and some kind of a plan. Its a process, but as long as you are open and upfront about what you need, there is always help available.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.