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My son and his family are moving to the East coast (we live in Wisconsin). My husband has Parkinson's and Dementia. I am 67 and am pretty healthy. I take care of the yard and house and am an avid equestrian. My son would like us to sell our small, one story ranch and move into a senior facility that takes you from an apartment to the nursing home. I feel I am not ready yet. What do other p eople do.

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My inlaws stayed in their home until they were nearly 80. They should have moved a year or two sooner (my MIL has a neurodegenerative illness) but they didn't. They now live in independent living and a helper comes every day to help MIL with bathing, toileting, dressing, etc. MIL still makes an effort every single day. She would be unable to make this effort if she were still at home with FIL, who gave up on living a long time ago.

I would not sell my house if I were riding horses at your age. Instead, I would bring in a helper for your husband because you will not be able to care for him all by yourself. His illness may last many more years. Caregivers often die before their loved ones.
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A 67 year old equestrian is probably healthier than people half your age!

You're far too young and healthy to consider compromising your life style and moving if age is the primary factor. There is the issue though of your husband's dementia, but I suspect from the way your wrote your post and your physical activity that you're handling this situation equally as well.

I suspect as well as others that your son wants to ensure that you're safe since he's moving and won't be around to help. What you can do to comfort/appease him is develop short and long term plans, share them with him, but explain that it has to be when you feel it's appropriate to move. Perhaps he'll feel better if there's a back-up plan in place.

This reminds me of the movie based on Rosamund Pilcher's novel The Shell Seekers. It was made into a movie starring Angela Lansbury, and I thought it sensitively dramatized the contrasting viewpoints of the adult children vs. the older woman who was still quite viable and able to live alone.

The mother knew her strengths and weaknesses and resisted being pushed by one greedy offspring into premature retirement.
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AhHaHaHaHa! Your son sounds a lot like my nephew, he is worried about his parents and they are only in their 60's. You have to remember that the perception of "old" changes over time, remind your son you are far from in your dotage! I personally have plans to sell my home and move to a senior friendly environment at age 75. In my experience unless stricken with an acute disease most people retain their health until they reach their 80's, at 75 I should still have the mental and physical capacity to be able pick my own place and make the most of the new lifestyle. Since your hubbie has health issues you may wish to explore options available for his care, but I really don't think it should be necessary for you to give up a lifestyle you still enjoy before your time, you could easily live another 30 years.
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Man, that's tough. What level of progression is your husband? Do you anticipate him staying with you in the house long term? Would you bring in outside help? Is Memory Care for him an option? Is he still able to process the situation and if so, what does he say?

Would you be able to maintain the house, yard, horses, while providing care for him inside around the clock?

It sounds like you love your house. I'd hate to leave it as your young age. But, still, would you be happy there is he were living elsewhere? Would you enjoy your privacy and have friends come around?

There are some nice retirement communities that have lovely lakes, woods, activities. Could you find one that offers Equestrian options?

I would definitely consult with an Elder Law attorney about the financial aspects and seek financial planning advice. Does your husband have long term care insurance? There are so many things to consider.

Are you the Durable POA for Husband?
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67 seems prett young to move to a continuing care facility. I think that your son must be worried about the toll caregiving is/will take on you. What help are you getting with your husband? Do you get regular respite!
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