My question is this. Caring for her is getting to be a strain with all the needed repeating of directions etc for my Dad. He also chooses her clothes and gives her directions for doing the daily self-care needs. 2 meals a day are provided in the dining room but he is the one who has to do the choosing etc. And keep in mind he is 90 but still very sharp and up on all the current events. They do have housekeeping also. But he does the laundry but it's right there in the bathroom.
My brother thinks they should move to a asst. living facility. This would be quite a bit smaller than their present apt. Meaning Mom would have to give up many of her familiar and comforting surroundings. I know Dad would get some asst. with her but I'm wondering if it wouldn't all fall on him anyway because she'd want it that way and it would be easier to just keep her happy than let someone else do the things. Anyone have any experience with this? How much help would being in asst. living give my Dad. He doesn't need it for himself. Mom would be totally lost without him and he'd never go for moving her into a Dementia type setting as long as he can hack it. He won't even try the day-care options we've suggested.