My mother is still angry about this after three years. She started screaming at me today -again - because Dad did not come home to her when he left the vent care center. She is a hoarder, had gone through a serious traumatic brain injury two years before Dad's stroke, and rarely wanted to visit Dad. I am a retired special needs teacher with 35 years of dealing with trachs, body fluids, feeding tubes, and patients with brain injuries. Out of our large family , I was the only one who lived near my mother's house which is isolated and hard to navigated due to the boxes.
I visited Dad daily at the hospital and vent care center, was taught how to perform many of the needs he had, and knew the person who would become Dad's respiratory therapist. My son and I have what is considered moderate to severe asthma. The therapist was our therapist. I had found a condo in my tiny condo community that was three doors away from mine. I was still working and had arranged to work 1/2 day while the nurse was there, and still look after Dad. I had a huge support group from my church, my other siblings could have helped some, and I had friends who were retired EMT's and nurses. My mother and alcoholic sister pitched a fit, thought, and wanted him to come "home" even thought the house was over 100 years old and had mold in it. Also, Dad had been deemed capable of making his own decisions by two doctors. Eventually, I found him a hospice between Mother's house and mine. The hospice could not meet his vent needs and Dad was moved from place to place until he died. Could someone please help me put this issue to rest for MY peace of mind? I will not show this to Mom. She wouldn't believe you, anyway, and would just yell at me. Dad had a medical directive, by the way, that was created by his lawyer. My brother and my mother hid it from all medical personnel. My brother was a family practitioner but does not practice medicine anymore due to his lack of ethics in this situation. His friends turned on him. I just want some peace, please, if any of you can help. Thank you so much for reading this. I am looking after my mother and need to create my own joy despite her anger.