I think it’s like dreaming. He’s working out a concern.
On occasion I’ve done my thinking audibly when I’m very riled, tired, and worried. I’ve said to no one, and out of earshot, “Of course you’re not worried. It’s all on my back 24/7 while you’re Mr. Don’t Know What’s the Heck is Going On Happy Pants”.
Wish that I could say it’s normal because I do it too. What the heck. It’s normal.
Yeah my husband caught me doing that when i was hanging out washing and asked who I was talking to. Funny as. But on a serious note, my Dad has talked to himself for years. Particularly while he’s taking a shower, he used to do maths deductions out loud. This was before he got dementia and was of alleged sound mind. Go figure.
I think you are right in that he is "rehearsing" or trying out what to say to mom. Funeral expenses are outrageous and to help someone pay for some of those expenses is hard. Personal opinion, dad should be honest with mom and tell her that it is a bit more than they can afford right now. To me it does not make sense to spend money on a box that you are going to bury and no matter how expensive it is no one will see it again. If they want a real fancy one for the viewing many homes will "rent one" then the person can be buried in a less expensive one.
If your Dad is saying that an ‘extremely expensive coffin’ is too much money, he sounds perfectly sensible to me! Particularly if your mother was suggesting helping to pay for it. Many people re-run conversations in their head. Doing it aloud if you are on your own is OK.
If talking to yourself, or muttering, or talking to the dogs or cat is not "normal" I am in a world of hurt! If he is by himself often I would not worry about it. If he is in a group of people and carries on a conversation with himself or someone that is not visible THEN you can begin to worry. When he starts losing arguments with himself, you can worry. 😉
If you are concerned about dementia or mental illness discuss it with him and his doctors. I do have to ask though at 50 why is he living with you? Does he have medical conditions that make this necessary?
Thank you so much for answering my question. To answer your question I’m living with my dad for 2 weeks just to spend some time with him, my mum and younger sister. But I don’t think I have explained my situation correctly. Unfortunately my uncle has passed away 1 week ago (on my mums side) but my dad has never met him so they are not close at all. However my mum is grieving and went to her family home and called to say his wish was to get a coffin and the one he wanted was extremely expensive. So my dad has been saying ‘That’s way to expensive how do you think can afford that’ and then he will take a break then say ‘ no, no you are not understanding me that’s not what I’m saying.’ So I’ve been puzzled as to if he is releasing all his concerns/worries or preparing what he wants to say when my mum wants to call again or he is having a conversation with somebody invisible. (As someone has said it sounds as if he is carrying on a conversation with someone
Talking to one self is not necessarily abnormal. Many people talk aloud their thoughts sometimes. "That's way too expensive, how do you think we can afford that", sound very logical and realistic. It does not suggest psychosis. The fact that he stops the conversation when somebody enters the room, it shows awareness of his environment and embarrassment. That's a normal reaction. Psychotic people occasionally get into hallucinatory conversations with non-existing persons. But the content of the conversation is weird. Sometimes is a fight or angry exchanges. A psychotic person will not stop the imaginary conversation when somebody comes into the room, because to him/her, the conversation with other people is real, not imaginary.
Well, it sounds like dad is carrying on a conversation with someone rather than talking to himself. Sometimes I'll talk to myself and say "ohhhh don't forget to order refills on the meds." Something like that. But dad is discussing the purchase of something and whether its affordable or not, as if someone is in his ear urging him to buy something expensive. To me that sounds potentially worrisome. Plus he clams up when someone comes into the room, meaning he knows what he's doing is odd or questionable.
Nobody but a qualified doctor can tell you what's going on with dad, or if something is amiss. I'd see about getting him an appointment with his PCP and if you can alert him beforehand about what's going on, that could be helpful in ordering the appropriate tests he may deem necessary. Or in referring dad to a different care provider.
On occasion I’ve done my thinking audibly when I’m very riled, tired, and worried. I’ve said to no one, and out of earshot, “Of course you’re not worried. It’s all on my back 24/7 while you’re Mr. Don’t Know What’s the Heck is Going On Happy Pants”.
Wish that I could say it’s normal because I do it too.
What the heck. It’s normal.
figure.
Funeral expenses are outrageous and to help someone pay for some of those expenses is hard.
Personal opinion, dad should be honest with mom and tell her that it is a bit more than they can afford right now.
To me it does not make sense to spend money on a box that you are going to bury and no matter how expensive it is no one will see it again.
If they want a real fancy one for the viewing many homes will "rent one" then the person can be buried in a less expensive one.
Frequently.
If he is by himself often I would not worry about it.
If he is in a group of people and carries on a conversation with himself or someone that is not visible THEN you can begin to worry.
When he starts losing arguments with himself, you can worry. 😉
If you are concerned about dementia or mental illness discuss it with him and his doctors.
I do have to ask though at 50 why is he living with you? Does he have medical conditions that make this necessary?
Once again, thank you for your response! 😊
I get a bit weary of the criticism sometimes, but I suspect that's normal too.
Psychotic people occasionally get into hallucinatory conversations with non-existing persons. But the content of the conversation is weird. Sometimes is a fight or angry exchanges. A psychotic person will not stop the imaginary conversation when somebody comes into the room, because to him/her, the conversation with other people is real, not imaginary.
Nobody but a qualified doctor can tell you what's going on with dad, or if something is amiss. I'd see about getting him an appointment with his PCP and if you can alert him beforehand about what's going on, that could be helpful in ordering the appropriate tests he may deem necessary. Or in referring dad to a different care provider.
Best of luck.