My husband was diagnosed with Dementia/Alzheimers type about 8 years ago. At first it was just repeating stories but since, as expected with the disease he has progressed. However, after all this time he is still manageable. It's just that my life, as full time caregiver is focused on him and his needs and nothing else. I don't want to complain but I find myself resenting having to sit around, answering questions, changing channels and trying to redirect....constantly!
My husband has sundowners so in the daytime he's not as bad, although he's very confused. Most of the time he thinks there are other people in the house, worries over the door locks, opens and relocks the doors up to 40+ times each evening. He thinks he's been robbed so he hides things all the time, we both do a search and usually find the item stashed in ridiculous places. He says he's talked with his mother who passed about 15 years ago and thinks she has spent the night. Wants the TV turned down so we don't wake her. These confusions go on all day from about 6:00A.M. to 11:00 P.M.
But I don't have to change diapers, deal with a wheelchair or any heavy work. He's very healthy...just this blasted confusion!
Then there are my family and my one friend. They say I've changed, closed in too much and suggest that I should go ahead and put him in Assisted Living so I can have a life.
I found an AL and I'm next on the waiting list. They already called but I asked to just be kept on the list for the next available room. I'm so confused myself about making that huge move. I guess I keep waiting for something to happen so his needs are increased or so I wouldn't be able to care for him for some reason. I know some people have loved ones who are so much worse and they still care for them.
I never expected this to be so hard! He is 76 and I'm 75. I can't imagine putting him in a place and driving away. Of course, I'd go visit all the time but to just leave him when he's so attached and dependent on me....I just don't know what would happen to him. But others say we'd have more quality time together....so, I swing from one side to the other. I think I'm more confused than he is!! How have you all dealt with placing your loved ones? And I apologize for being so longwinded!