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My mother lives with my 2 sisters. Neither of them are in great health. One says its time to put her in a nursing home NOW, the other one says NOT YET. I don't live there I live about 40 miles away. I spend at least 3 days a week helping out to give them a break. We have other family members but they offer no real help. My Mother can not get in or out of bed by herself, is in a wheelchair. Wears diapers. Need help cleaning herself. We have hospice coming in to help with shower. Need advice on how I should or should not help with this decision since I don't live there. Also, when do you just know its time?

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I'm not sure of the policies in your state, but in mine, Memory Care facilities take care of Dementia patients throughout all phases of the disease. They are trained to work with dementia patients and seem to offer what other places may not have, IMO.

You might have your mom evaluated by a local healthcare agency to determine what level of care she needs. I would do that immediately, because you want to avoid a situation where there is an emergency and you have nowhere to place her.
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If mom is already on hospice, her prognosis is 6 months, she can go to a hospice facility. Hospice at home is very difficult and emotionally draining. I did it for my father but we had the help of a private caregiver as well. I respect that you're one sister does not want to resort to facility, if not now when? On the other hand she does not have much time left in most in likelihood so can you hold on? Can you maybe just get additional help and allow her to stay at home? Can you hire caregiver for 8 or more hours a day?
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