Even tho my husband is not too bad physically, his dementias are going downhill.. I was at my chiropractor today, with hubby in tow.. My chiropractor keeps telling me because of existing arthritis in my neck and back I can not keep taking care of hubby for much longer..
I do need to clean the bathroom just about every time he uses it, and more often now him too.. He just cant seem to control where his urine goes anymore, tho most times he does really try.. If I dont clean the bathroom (I am only letting him use one of them) at least 4-5 times a day it just starts to really smell like a mens room.. I know its not his fault. But my back is not happy with me..
I do send him to day care 2 days a week, and could send him 5, but its a 26 mile drive one way and I can go thru over a tank of gas a week between day care and other appts.. He just came back from a 2 week respite 2 weeks ago and I was starting to feel much better without all the extra work..
His old social worker at the VA wanted me to do the paperwork for the Veterans Home 2 years ago, but just did not have the heart to do it. No I am considering contacting his present SW and asking her to help me get it started since we need a lot of info from his VA dr's. Paperwork is 37 pages..
I have a few friends that tell me to start it all, but I just feel like a failure as a caregiver.. We have been married over 40 years..
But as I sit her and type this I have my tens unit on my neck and back, and in a few minutes will be helping him get into bed.. And several times during the night I will need to help him in the bathroom and get back to bed..
My thoughts are its me not him at this point and I will fail him.. I know this is something he never wants and I have told him we will keep him home as long as possible.. But my body is telling me I cant do this much longer..
I am venting, just dont know what to do, and not feel like I have failed him..
Thanks for listening all..