I have a client whose Daughter in law (DIL) is her POA, but my client feels like she has no say in her money anymore even though her name is on the account. DIL hasn't given my client her checks and wants my client to ask if she needs them. I can't get involved in family matters according to my office, so when is finacial POA considered to have gone too far where I need to report it to DHS? And is there anything I can do to help, or do I have to just grit my teeth and watch my client's well-being decline?

As far as I'm aware my client has neither, she's forgetful but no known dementia or alzheimer's a check she tried to mail got stolen by somone in her neighbourhood and that's when the DIL took over.
The account is still in my client's name.
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Reply to Homecareworker
FloridaDD Mar 24, 2020
Did your client realize the check got stolen?  Was it a regular check, like social security?  Should your client have noticed?   Was this the turning point for the DIL that family was afraid of what was going on?
I believe the key here is, “I can’t get involved in family matters according to my office.” If you work for an agency, it’s important to maintain professional boundaries and remain as neutral as possible. Continue to report any concerns to your supervisor. He or she will follow through if necessary. Remember, you are only hearing one side of the story. I applaud you for the level of concern you show for this lady but I think it’s important that you heed the advice you were given by your employer.
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Reply to anonymous1010889

I am POA and Trustee of Trust for my bro. I pay all his bills; I handle all financial; If any bills come in the mail to him by mistake, after I have transferred to come to my home, one half a state away, he drops in mail to me, and I pay. I think this was hard for him at first, though he was the one to ask me to do it and I never wanted the responsibility. Therefore we made an account that is his own personal account. If he wants money put in it I go to the branch in my city and have it transferred to his own account, at his branch, so out of the trust and into an account in his own name. This has worked well. At first I had a lot to handle. He still owned his home, there was insurance, things to have sent to him and things that needed to come to me, and it was all confusing for everyone including medicare and his supplemental insurance. After a year it is figured out. Of course as financial POA I must keep meticulous records; this I do as well as a diary. I have folders for everything. Each month I give him an accounting. It shows the check record register, a copy of each check INcoming and each OUTGOING that month, with notes on anything special. Now that the home is sold it is actually, after a year and a few months quite easy. His ALF rental comes out of Trust account automatically as does his supplemental insurance. You might suggest to the DIL that the mother, while she may not understand it at all would feel better if she had a monthly accounting that the daughter in law keeps, and if she had her own small account in her name, with her son and daughter in law POD (pay on death). If this doesn't work, bow out. If the mother has no dementia she has the power to name a new POA. If she has dementia, it is too late, and you honestly can do nothing. I am not hearing any question of abuse of funds here. You say "my client". I am not certain in what capacity you serve the MIL. Wishing you luck. And no, Mom would not have her own checks if daughter in law is paying bills. This would cause utter chaos and confusion. Not unless she has her own small account.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

My question is, does your client have Alzheimer’s or dementia and if not, why did she give up control of her finances? With the lack of information here, no one can say if the DIL is going too far. Depending on the circumstances, it may be in your clients best interest to not have access to her money.

if your client is completely mentally competent, no dementia, then why can she regain control of her checks? There is no reason she can’t contact social security or the pension plan and have the checks mailed to her or deposited in to an account only she can access.the DIL may have POA but that does not mean your client is powerless and cannot access her financial information.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to worriedinCali

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