Follow
Share

My Mom is 69, and was recently diagnosed with dementia, possibly Alzheimer's (we are waiting to talk to the neurologist to see what they think it is). I've known she had it for a long time, but we finally got in and did the official testing. She is living on her own in a 55+ community and has a "helper" for activities, getting groceries, etc. She otherwise does fine on her own, but often feels lonely and secluded and if her helper isn't around she doesn't join in many of the activities because her vision is so bad she can't see the sign-up sheets.

I've looked at a few assisted living facilities that look nice, and meet all of her needs, but the average age is about 20 years older than my Mom. When I view the residents in the dining room they just seem so much older, and the row of walkers lined up makes me feel like my Mom wouldn't fit in. But, since she is not cognitively 69 anymore would she notice? The idea of her having all of her meals taken care of, being checked on twice a day, and taken to activities is very appealing. I can imagine the sense of peace knowing she is taken care of in all the necessary ways so that I could just be her daughter and come by to visit for fun instead of care.

How do I convince her of the benefits of assisted living? It's only come up once, and she said "I do NOT want to be put in some home."

Thanks for your advice!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Thanks for the feedback. The articles are helpful, we are just such a unique case with her being younger than typical Alzheimer's. My Mom probably can stay where she is at for a while, but I'm nervous about the dementia progressing and a move being harder later. My biggest worry about making the move is whether she'll "fit in" with people so much older than her. I'm still in my 30's, have young kids at home that keep me ultra busy, so moving my Mom in isn't an option. I'm just not home enough to care for her and keep her occupied.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

according to a british report i read the majority of dementia patients suffer depression when placed in a group setting. it isnt the utopia that some people envision. im only 54 years old and left my home sitting empty 5 yrs ago to stay with my mother. i havent drawn a happy breath since. i understand your mothers fears..
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hello sgriffin22,

We have a new section on our site that may help you with your questions regarding assisted living for your mom. Check it out.

https://www.agingcare.com/Assisted-Living

I wish you the very best,
The AgingCare.com Team
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.