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Your profile says ur caring for someone with ALZ/Dementia. First, does this person have the funds to pay for an AL? They can cost 5k and up depending on the care that will be needed. Some you pay two years private pay and then can you file for Medicaid help. Some people need more care than an AL can give. Then it's finding a nice Nursing home. My Mom lived with me for 20 months. I live in a split level with her living area on the bottom level where one of the other baths were and easy excess out of the house. Mom deteriorated a little each month. Plus my house was not condusive to a person who was not able to do steps. I took what money she had and placed her in an AL. She continued to go down hill even with having people around all day and activities. When money ran out it was time for LTN. I found a place which took good care of Mom. Better than the AL. Activities were a constant thing. My Mom was pretty easy to care for but I am not a caregiver. First, at 5ft tall I don't have the strength. I don't have patience. I understood what Dementia was and how it progresses but it still hurt when I got blamed. As the oldest child and a girl, it was always me. I was the one who stayed in the same town and was there for my parents thru all their hospital stays and running them to Dr. visits. But it was my retirement when all the big responsibility hit. Driving friends to Dr. Visits in a nearby state, care of an infant Gchild right into my Mom 24/7. Yes, my DH helped but there is only so much he can do. Daycare helped but only a few hours a day. So it comes down to how are you handling it. Is the care getting more than you can handle.? Then it's time. Someone just said on another thread that we should do because our parents did for us. Yes, to a point. When we were children they were young too. Most of us are Seniors caring for Seniors. Our energy level has diminished with our strength. Some are experiencing their own age related health issues. We no longer can do it all. What we owe our parents is to keep them safe. See that they are cared for, feed and clean. And not to forget them. My only regret when it comes to my Mom is my impatience with dealing with her. But then I had no experience in this. Otherwise, I did everything I could to be there and make sure she had what she needed and was cared for.
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