When is enough enough? I have basically been caring for parents for the past five years. Their needs are ramping up as they age.

Hello, Thank you for posting. This is a good move to start with.

I have sibling issues in a slightly different way. I am primary full-time caregiver for 5 years, plus many more periods over the last 20 years. Only one of my sisters has helped in all those years and mostly only weekends, but not really as a caregiver.

My situation is, from a large family none of the other siblings have change their lives to share the responsibility. I am the primary caregiver but also do no have any communication with other siblings any more, due to various issues with them along the last 20 years, but also because they have not shared caregiving responsibilities.

My view on your situation is your siblings do not have right to be furious, they are being completely unreasonable. If there are many siblings it's right to share responsibility of caring for our parents. They raised each one of us, provided for us, etc... so why shouldn't it be shared. When the responsibility is mainly put on one person, that person has what's called "burnout" and sounds like you are there. It's time for you to take a break and discuss it with your siblings from that angle, that you need a break from it, to let them focus more on the caregiving, and you will return to helping in the future. If they are reasonable siblings and you are generally on good communication terms with them, they should accept this.

Tell them you're not totally walking away, but need a long break for now.

Hoping you can get a long earned break from your caregiving. Let your other siblings take on the responsibility more for now.

I read the book "But it's Family!" It was very helpful for me. It instructs how to do for yourself what needs to be done--but you don't know how to do it, emotionally.

People are different, not just 'more right' nor 'wrong'. This book spoke to me, where my sibs could (or would) not.

Best wishes on this difficult journey. Hugs.

As said before, do not take unwarranted abuse. Get professional help if problems persist. We want to respect our elders, but it's hard, if not impossible, when abuse messes up your life. No different with family than it is with anyone else. Look, I've been there with my mentally ill mother back in 1975 to 2013 I had to live with financially and fortunately had supportive professional family to help me out, plus I saw a professional to help me work out my problems as well.

Parents live in a different generation to siblings and its not easy to find the realistic balance between the two 'extreme' demands on your own time, being consistent in how you share yourself will free you from any anxiety of trying to please both, don't spoil either.

I am creating a plan called "Operation: Untether" for this year and it should allow me to break away from being a caregiver so I can FINALLY experience adulthood