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90 yr old Grandma has made some bizarre accusations. Most of which I can disprove with hard evidence and documentation. Whenever I prove she's lying the story gets changed or watered down. The reason this matters is the lies are now becoming legal, because despite a year of disproving the lies, her children are still convinced Grandma is fine. Now her family doctor has declared "unequivocally" , based on her mmse test (she scored a 26/30 but has been a professional educated woman her whole life, and an expert manipulator), that she doesn't have dementia. He's a "holistic" geriatrician, but he has a bachelor's in neuroscience and a PHD in family medicine. I want a second opinion, from a neurologist that specializes in the disease. Some Background on symptoms I noticed; despite being physically fit her walk is off and her balance very poor, her vitamin D was nonexistent, she'd have a hard time finding a car door handle in a familiar car, she got lost walking into the gym (she'd been in 3 days a week for several months) even though it was the only lit building in the parking lot, she went from begging the kids to come watch cartoons with her to calling them "little freaks and weirdos", She got completely apathetic this year, telling people she's gardening but never leaving her house, she lost weight visibly (which her kids are blaming on me "causing her stress"), she watched us leave to go camping and then tried to break into my house, She's admitted to passing out on several occasions, when she knows someone is coming she cleans her house otherwise it smells like urine, and no one knows what happened to her cat, has days when she can't operate an outdoor faucet, sudden bouts of irrational anger, makes irrational demands (she tried to make me plant a tree on a 6in water main line that serves the neighborhood, when I wouldn't she tried to get the neighbor to do it), accused the kids of digging holes in the yard, where there were no holes, got paranoid about someone trying to live in her car (no homeless where we are), the list goes on. So here's my question; Is it not incredibly irresponsible to declare a patient you've only tested with an oral exam to be 100% free of dementia? Especially if he's not a Neurologist or specialist? Even when the family members who were seeing her 10 hrs a day, 5 days a week, minimum, give him symptoms that he has chosen to overlook in favor of the opinions of people who see her 2-3 hours a month at most. In the few moments I've been allowed to see her in the last yr, she seems worse, but I have to wonder if I'm just seeing what I want. What if my Grandma is just a Narcissist who's willing to lie like this to get her way? Should I pursue the second opinion or just fight them in court and prove she's lying(which I have plenty of proof for). I believed she had dementia because of the lies. What if I'm wrong? I'm worried about her. If I just leave they plan to leave her here to care for herself since she declared that's what she wants. She's made comments about burning the house down, and "slashing her wrists" and sleeps with a loaded gun next to her bed. None of her kids think this is a problem; especially after her doctor made such a sweeping declaration. (FYI:we live is separate buildings on the property, and are in no personal danger)

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Thank you all for your input. I'll be worried about Grandma from a distance I suppose. I'm glad to hear there can be more going on here, but either way, my place is now just in protecting my family.
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My mom regularly scored a 15/15 on the mini version of that exam a few months before she died. My mom had vascular dementia which has more to do with diminution of reasoning skills apparently than of memory.
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I know you care about your grandma, but I think you should step away and let her children deal with her. A lot of times with seniors, you have to wait for an emergency to get any action taken. It's just the way it is (unfortunately). My mom wouldn't listen to me about her medications (she kept forgetting to take them). I wanted to get her help and she said no over and over again. She forgot her blood thinner for three days and wound up with a clot in the ER. At that point, I was finally able to step in and insist that she needed help. But it took that emergency to make it happen. You've done what you can, let her children take over her care. If there's an emergency, you can try to step in again with help.
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My husband scored 25 on that test a few times. Other times it was in the low teens. He had a type of dementia where cognition varies widely. He unequivocally had dementia. His neurologist even was confident in identifying the type of dementia. This was proven by autopsy.

No one can tell you someone doesn't have dementia from one test!
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See she's been tested for a UTI, no go. She has glaucoma, but the visual issues don't account for all the other strange behavior. Guns do not require a license in my state, so there's no help there. And her doctor has written a statement saying that "he can unequivocally say she does not and has not had dementia while in his care" I felt that was a gross overstep of his qualifications considering, to my knowledge, the test was the only thing he's basing it off of. The strange part of this test is that she scored much lower the first time she took it a yr before. Gma's child(1 of 5 living), who is acting as one of my witnesses, was present when she failed the test. Gma couldn't remember the 3 objects, despite being given 2 separate opportunities during the interview along with other indicators.
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Granddaughter83, I know the test that your Grandmother had taken. I've had those tests for the past few years. I also got 26/30, so that was pretty good for your Grandmother. Even our current President has taken this test.

The fact that Grandmother was having trouble finding the gym, and the door handle on the car, made me think she could be having major eye issues, such as macular degeneration, which isn't unusual for someone her age.

After re-reading your post, it might be time to have Grandmother get a test for an Urinary Tract Infection. Such an infection can cause strange behavior in someone your Grandmother's age.

If you try to fight the family in Court to prove your Grandmother is not in sound mind, would you then be appointed to be her full-time caregiver??? Be careful for what you wish for.
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No doctor will ever say someone does not have something; you can't prove a negative.
They can do a full physical of her and write up their findings, but she would have to cooperate and the test for Alzheimer's is a full day of written and verbal testing.
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Grandma has living children so let them deal with it and keep your distance. Talk to Adult Protective Services and let them and possibly the police know about the gun
She has made comments about harming herself so that is an indication she should be further evaluated. She may not actually have dementia but she certainly is not behaving rationally. Do you know if she has a licence for the gun. if not the police will confiscate it. You may think Gma would never harm you but if she gets worse she may mistake you for an intruder and let loose with both barrels
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